Constant reassurance

That doesn't sound good. She may feel like she can't trust your reassurance because she thinks you're lying to her or that you feel obligated to do that because you're her husband. If she gets it from other people who aren't as close with her though, then it must be real. Hopefully she doesn't become too dependent on social media to the point where it starts influencing her life choices. Maybe it's something you two could talk with a therapist or counselor about?

Best wishes, Cain

@Jflo

A wife told her husband to buy her a handbag. Because he wanted her to be happy he bought her a handbag. But she was not happy. Instead she told her husband to buy her another handbag. Because he wanted to please her, he bought her another handbag. Still, she was not happy and insisted he should buy her another handbag! Her husband was getting frustrated now, but thought maybe just one more handbag might make her happy. So he appeased her and bought her another handbag. To his anguish, she was still not happy.

One day he came home and found his wife holding a new handbag that a stranger had bought for her. But the worst part was not that a stranger had bought her a handbag. No. The worst part was - Only now was she happy.

Moral of the story: She doesn’t value your attention because you’re her husband and she has started to take it for granted that you’re supposed to give her attention. It’s not the attention that has diminished in value for her, but the source. After five years of marriage it’s possible the passion and desire has become stale and routine. Marriages are living things; they change and evolve as do the needs of partners. As much as you do try to provide her needs and give her attention; maybe she now finds that getting attention from other men/people elsewhere gives her something in a way that you as a long-term partner can’t? Something ‘new’ and different and novel that contrasts with how things are with you in your familiar marriage. I don’t mean to say that ‘you’re the problem’ - but rather that long term marriages naturally tend to devolve into ‘companionship’ after a while. Sometimes engaging with partners in the same way no longer feels as engaging as it once did. The flame tends to burn out. It becomes ‘comfortable’ and ‘nice’ enough, but people are no longer enraptured and excited by each other’s company after long term exposure to the routines of marriage.

If she is going elsewhere for attention even though you give her as much as you can, maybe think about what it is those other sources of attention can provide her, how they might somehow be meeting her needs?

Wishing you all the best with this issue ~!

CatsInTheCradle