Forgive or let go?
I am 24 years old about to be 25 upcoming May and i have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 9 months now. He is my first boyfriend and unlike the other guys who had tried to ask me out.. he seemed different and special to my eyes. I didnt get that often so i trusted my instinct, but not long after that we already started with a first of our many rough patches. First, he lied to me about being a virgin. I knew at the time he told me he was lying, because he and i actually have mutuals, and my friend have told me about how he was with his ex. I forgave him.. gave him an ultimatum and we moved on. Second, not long after that i accompanied him working for a day and when he was dropping me off he said i love you to me but mistakenly said his ex's name. I was really heartbroken and insecure at that time. Still dealing with it up until this day. Third is his secrecy with his phone. I do not check his phone at all nor do i want to.. but i feel bothered that he always acts uncomfortable when i even see his phone whilst he so comfortably uses my phone all the time. Ive caught other girls pics being saved on his phone and he lied that it was to send to his friend. Ive also caught porn and he lied that it was sent from his friend. At the end of the day its not the content.. but the white lies and thw secrets is what bothers me. All these flags have gotten all my friends convincing me to leave him. But i also am scared to let go as ive got so much issues going on in my life and despite all his cons.. hes really there for me when i need him. Im afraid that giving him another chance will be just another dumb move from me to pending the future heartbreak because i am blind as what my friends say.. kindly send your advice if you are willing 🙏
@persistentShip555
It sounds like you have uncovered several flags that point towards his tendency to keep stuff from you. The first one you already knew about, but let it go because you expected him to respect your ultimatum. Despite being bothered by his secrets, you wish to keep this relationship because he is there when you need him. If the issue isn't a deal breaker at the moment, what makes you feel it'll lead to a future heartbreak?
We can't tell the future and if you feel this is the best choice for you after considering all aspects of your situation, that is not dumb at all.
Wish you the best!