How do we get past this?
My husband and I have been working through some problems recently (for like 1.5yrs or so) and have been making pretty good progress. We communicate better and are able to spend time together.
Recently, I've noticed a problem when it comes to my husbands work place. There seems to be a culture of anti-partner. Married people and people in relationships are encouraged to spend time away from their partner and family. Pre-Covid they planned social activities that took up every weekend and time after work. Now that restrictions are being lifted, not much has changed.
In my experience, one particular female co-worker actually pushed my husband to uninvite me from multiple social gatherings (stateing that my presence would restrict her freedom).
Is this normal?
In the small amount of time I have mingled with some of his co-workers, I've made friends (except the woman who request I not be there. She avoids me or won't speak to me at all). I have gone out of my way to make sure I'm polite and inclusive of my husbands work friends but don't feel the same consideration in return.
I don't know what to do.
@limegreenTurtle182
" (stateing that my presence would restrict her freedom)." Her freedom to.... do what, exactly?
It may be a regional difference, but I have never heard of this kind of workplace culture. Weekend activities with your co-workers? As if spending time with them during the work week isn't enough? I understand meeting after the workday is over for drinks or coffee, as a group, but that is rare--for us anyway.
@InquireWithin Thank you for your response.
To answer your question, the woman in question had a bit of a secret special relationship with my husband (which he has since stepped away from because he realised how much it hurt me). They had daily online private and personal conversations for well over a year. When I found out about it my husband tried to insist they were just friends but then hid the fact that it continued.
Since then he has realised it was more than he thought and pulled away. Her reaction was betrayal, anger and tantrums. Calling our marriage toxic and telling my husbands he needs to seek professional help.
That is some backstory that has led me to believe her comment of restricting freedom to be that when I'm around she can't be engaged with my husband like she wants. I feel bad for her fiancee. He has no idea about her. She has admitted to my husband in their conversations about her thing for married men.
But I also have suspicions that her manipulation is the reason for the work attitude. She seems to be able to convince the men in the company to do whatever she wants and throws a tantrum if they don't.
This attitude at his work and the fact he is pulling away from it has put him on the outside of any social interaction. This has led him to blame that on me a little. This is putting a rift between us that we have been working so hard to close.