Hurting

This is just for me, no comments please

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There are so many times when I miss you. I talked to someone today who went through the same thing I did, but at least they got closure from another person. With you, nothing was said. Nothing has been said. No one talked to me. No one reached out, or told me any small amount of information. I dealt with this alone, and I continue to deal with this alone. I had no idea that silence could hurt this much. I literally had no clue that I could fall apart, just from not knowing anything.

And yes, I could say that I’m stronger now blah blah. But like, who even cares? I was already strong. I didn’t need to be more broken for that to happen.

I still think that everything happens for a reason. I do believe that. I also believe we have free will. So...yes, things are fated. But certain fate happens depending on our decisions, or others’ decisions.

I keep wondering...why am I even here? Yes, I have an important job. But I wonder what this is supposed to do for me. Was I supposed to learn something from this mess?

ugh. So it’s not like I didn’t learn anything. I just wonder what the point is, if the people who matter most are the ones to abandon us. Then we work through all of our issues, we get back to a good place. Then there’s something else to break us down. And you are still silent. And I still don’t know why.

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This is just for me, no comments please

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