I complain

I have this issue that has really come to light in my relationship. I love my girlfriend to the core. And I really do try my best to make sure she knows how much I care about her and how much I just enjoy her whole being. I honestly do love everything about her. Yes, there are things that annoy me in passing, but you spend enough time with any human and something is bound to tick you.

with that said in general in my life I complain very much. Pretty much about everything. This isn’t to say I am unhappy at everything, I usually try and see the good in everything or positives at least. But I admittedly do complain about a lot of things. Where it comes out the most is with my girlfriend. I complain about her what it feels like in passing not even thinking, which turns into her thinking I’m upset, so she then gets upset or defensive towards me. This all throws me in for a loop because like I said I don’t even realize it so from my perspective she’s just randomly getting upset at me for no reason. So then we are in a situation where both of us are upset and defensive, and we both think the other is the one that started in the bad mood. I cannot stress enough that I genuinely am not upset in most of these instances. It’s actually funny because when I am actually upset about something I try and be good about communicating and she receives it so well and really does help make me feel better. It feels like I can’t even control it. It really sucks because here I am completely in love with my girl, but what feels like just a really bad habit makes her feel less than that. I am usually so good at consciously making an effort to improve myself on things like that, so it’s tough that it feels like it’s happening so passively.

hope anyone has some insight for me. Thank you.