I don't know what to do

Hi all, first time posting here. This is going to be a LONG post so prepare yourselves. I've basically got no outlet and I'm on a waiting list for therapy but it's taking forever. Okay so I've always had anxiety and mental health problems for as long as I remember. And in some aspects I've gotten better and in others I've declined. At the end of 2015 I started chatting with a guy and we got on really well and things were great. Then early 2016 he moved 200 miles to be with me which was the sweetest thing. I knew about his MH problems and I said I'd support him and be there for him. It was a rough few years and then in 2019 we got married and he converted his religion. I don't think I was ready to get married at that point and it felt rushed because we had to be married to stay together. Last year I had somewhat of a break down and we broke up for a month or so. It was my choice and I started talking to an old friend who made me realise that I'm not who I was anymore, that I've changed a lot to fit this relationship that I'm in. I can't enjoy the things I like anymore because it's against my partners religion, I can't enjoy them with him even though that's what brought us together in the first place. And sure we can get new interests but it's just not the same. At the end of my breakdown I had a horrible panic attack and my partner had to come back to calm me down because I couldn't breathe etc. And he's been here since but I'm just not 100% into it. Im just agreeing with everything so there's no conflict and just going with the flow. Hes not a bad person, he's actually the kindest person I've ever met and I care about him. I just don't know what to do