Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I feel like he doesn't love me anymore

User Profile: BabyYumi
BabyYumi March 30th, 2024

Hello everyone. It is my first time posting here and would like some help. I am currently in a relationship and we have been dating for a little over a year. It started off amazing, I confessed to him, he accepted even though we are long distance and we spent lots of time together. Even if we misunderstood each other or we argued, we always talked it out and never had a problem with making up. 

The problem started a few months ago, when he had missed our plan to date. We live in two different countries (that didn't have much timezones difference) so we can't see each other easily, and he has been working hard to get enough money for tickets to see me. I really appreciate it but at times he is so exhausted that he can't even spend time with me and would often feel asleep in his chair. I waited for him to come online but in the end he didn't, and he told me after that he fell asleep which was understandable in my opinion. I also mentioned that I would be very happy if he could take out some time to redo the date because I really miss him(it had been about four to five weeks of no contact, no texts no *** messages etc). He promised to do so but the few following days he decides to spend time playing games with our mutual friend group *** which I am also in. I don't mind if he fell asleep, because if he is that tired I'd rather he take the time to rest, but he actively chose his friends when he was awake enough which made me feel like I would be a second choice. He himself told me before this that he thought that it would be okay and that if I wanted to spend time with him I could just go to the mutual group call that we were in, but I mentioned to him that time with the group of friends and time with only him is completely different, and he said he understood. 

I told him about this and he did say that he would change it but it only got worse, to no messages from him at all for days on end. I had to practically feel like I was single and I couldn't rely on him for emotional support. I finally was able to get into a call with him and I ended tearing up, he asked me what I am doing and he even planned to spend the night with me after I was done with what I needed to do, but when I got done with what I needed to do he didn't even respond. During the call he had chose a bad timing to make a joke and it made me start to cry even harder. When I cried he said 'stop crying' in a very threatening tone. He even asked me to not say that I am lonely. 

Right now I don't get any contact from him unless I initiate it, I don't even get to know what he is going through because he doesn't try to tell me even if I beg for it. He forgets about me and one day just comes back like nothing happens.

What should I do...?

1
User Profile: MidwesternCalmSeeker
MidwesternCalmSeeker April 6th, 2024

@BabyYumi 

It sounds like he is trying to break up with you without actually breaking up with you. It is an unfortunate thing when people cannot be open and honest. It happens a lot with long-distance relationships, especially when there are not ample finances to support the in-person visits that make long distances work better. In order for relationships to remain healthy they require respect, trust, and communication. Do you feel you are getting all three of those things? If not, it may be time to think about moving on.