I just don’t know what to do
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 4 years now. We have had our issues, probably 2 or 3 big fights that lead to us almost breaking up, but most was okay. I don’t have many friends when I’m home, so she’s kind of my everything. In August, I moved a few hours away from home and her to go to school. I came home for Christmas but moved back in my dorm just a few weeks ago. Going home to visit her is out of the question as we are basically quarantined here. I have met a bunch of really great people and established a tight friend group. Lately, though, she has brought up to me that I am less enthusiastic about her than I am at home, and that I care more about my friends than her. She has asked me to do a few things, to dedicate more time to talking with her or doing remote activities, being more enthusiastic about our relationship, all really reasonable things. The problem is, I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if being with her is what is best for me right now, because the majority of my stress is centered around balancing her and my friends, and not being able to take part in the activities my friends do because either I’m afraid it will upset her or I have those obligations. Back home, I wouldn’t think twice about dropping my friends for her. But I’ve been alone for so long, with her being the only close relationship in my life, that I don’t want to drop these friends. I don’t know what to do. We are on the edge of breaking up and I don’t know what’s best for me, letting it happen or salvaging the relationship
Its healthy for people in relationships to have friends outside of their partner. On the other side, your partner needs to be reasonably fuilfilled being in a relationship and for their needs to be met. It sounds like communication might be something that could help- a sit-down conversation that you are both prepared for to see if you can both come to an agreement were both of you can have your needs/wants met. I think if you can both follow through, it could add some hope to your relationship. If you aren't able to find that agreement, you would at least be able to walk away being on the same page and able to start new journies rather than being in something with no room to grow.
@ranger37
It's understandable that you should have your own time but you need to make sure to balance it out. How much time are you hanging with your friends compare to the time you spend with her. She isn't asking you to drop your friends for her, she just want you to spend more time with her. You should think about this then sit down with her and discuss it with her. If you two can't come up with a solution.