Im a monster
Tw : depression and self hate. Hello, I hate myself so much, that’s so sad to say that but, with my gf, i overthink everything everytime, and i constantly annoy her, and she is always mad at me, and i hate myself more and more, so when she mad at me, i punch myself, i cut myself and im thinking like im an horrible person, im an horrible person man…
@lukitty
Thank you for sharing. I know how you feel. I sometimes feel the same way, that I always do wrong and never support right. I have two different experiences with this … one where my partner says in these situations "yes, it is all your fault and it will never get better until you fix it" and one where my partner says "I understand it's difficult for you, and I am not sure how to help, but I see that you're trying and I believe in you." You're not a monster in either case. The first person may try to convince you that you are (and they do in my case), but you have to be able to see that she can't be right. You aren't that absolutely terrible. If you're working with the second person, then persevere, keep listening. And, with the second person share your fears, be as open as you can about what you're worried about it. I did this recently and had a big breakthrough.
So, look carefully which describes your situation. In neither case are you a monster. In the first case stand up to her and don't let her tell you that you are. In the second case, let her help you to feel that you are not - but for this to happen you need to be vulnerable and admit your fears so that they can be addresed.
Thank you for sharing. I am glad you are here. You are not alone.