In a relationship/ in love with 2 people

A long time ago i met a guy, and fell in love (totally platonic, never even kissed, only held hands and hugged - we are in our late 20's) we never got into a relationship either but i even imagined a future with him. One day he had an emergency and had to go abroad for business then never messaged me again. Back then i heard nothing, so i went into a relationship, and fell in love again, now its been 1 year and im in a relationship. Throughout most of the time i couldnt get over the other disappearing and always wondered what happened like a cliff hanger. It was rare but as time went by i wondered even more but never did anything cus i had a bf. So heres the complicated part.... I decided that the only way to get over the other guy was the find out the reason so i can move on and concentrate on my current bf. so i asked my friend to msg the guy but instead he messaged me. He apologised, said he went through hell at that time and was in a really bad state. But when he got back to the country and sorted everything out he wanted to message me but he saw i had a bf on my profile picture so he let it go. He confessed that he really did love me etc. And i still think he does. So now I'm in a dilemma, that i think i love both my bf and the other guy (i guess my feelings never went away from before my relationship). So i don't know what to do. Im not talking to the other guy out of respect for my bf but i cannot ignore my feelings for the other. I love them both. I have never been in this situation so its really stressing me out. :/