I need help
My husband and I have been together for 5 years. It’s usually good but we have issues with communication. Especially when he is tired or irritated. He slowly and subtly gets worked into a rage without telling me what is causing this to build up. Eventually he screams at me and it is terrifying. He will call me names like “stupid bitch” and tell me to “leave him the fuck alone” when I try to inquire about what is bothering him or why he is being rude/detached/cold towards me. I am a sensitive person so keep that in mind. I also know I’m pretty good at picking up when something is off. He will keep telling me nothing but I feel as if I know something is wrong. Maybe I should stop doing that and just let him be. But I’m just scared he’s going to let it build up until he just freaks out one day and leaves. All I want is openness and communication. Am I being crazy or too needy? I didn’t have very good examples of what a healthy relationship should look like when I young so I’m not sure if I’m the problem or not. Please help me.
Hello hun, I'm so sorry to hear your going through this. I understand completely! My boyfriend of there years is the same way. But I've come to realize it's usually never . R he's mad at, get were the ones getting yelled at! Right? But don't think it's you, more than likely it's not. It's something from work, or his being mad at himself for something? Or just not feeling well, or just the stress of life that has got him in a mood. And we're just an easy target cuz we love them and we'll always be there for them no matter how many names they call us. Now I'm not saying that's right! Cuz it's so very not right for him to call you names and get mad at you. But all I'm saying is don't blame yourself. I'm a sensitive person as well, but I got a great poker face. I don't let mine see me get that hurt, but when he's calmed down I simply say if you wanna talk I'm here. If not that's ok to. But just remember I'm the wrong person to be taking out your anger on. And just leave it at that. But seeking better communication and happiness is a great step on the right direction. Keep that up and surly it's ment to improve your relationship! I hope things get better for you two, and thanks for sharing.