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I truly don't know what to do

User Profile: woshira
woshira December 28th, 2021

I have no idea what to do since I found out that my boyfriend whom I dated for almost a year is a compulsive liar. Everything started when I accidentally discovered his Google drive backup that included his ex gfs nudes. Before I saw all those photos I was trusting his every word %100. We had an argument over those photos because it's both unethical for him to keep those photos and I don't think he should keep them while we're in an on going relationship because it made me insecure. Long story short he told me they were only back ups from an old phone and backed them up long time ago and he didn't even cherry picked the nudes from the others he simply just procrastinated to delete them. Even after we made up I felt like my trust for him was shattering so I went into his phone while he was sleeping (and I know it was a horrible act but the photos made me question his faithfulness) and found out he has been talking with his ex fbuddy for months and deleting all their messages and call history. He called her many times the day we got into the fight about the photos (no wonder why) . When I confronted him he told me that they only talked through phone and that was all and he also admitted that he was flirting with other girls to fix his low self esteem while proving himself that he "still has it". He insisted it might be a hypocritical act but it wasn't cheating because nothing physical happened. We broke up and I told him that I don't ever want to see him again. After I ended our relationship he admitted that he had been lying since the beginning of our relationship about lots of things. Such as his previous sexual intercourses, the places he has been, the books he read, his stories about past experiences. Even his so called dead dog. He voluntarily admitted all his lies by himself and said he didn't even realised he lied all those things until he lost me. Now he says he wants to come clean apologises repeatedly to save our relationship. I know he did it all out of his low self esteem but trust is my number one priority in a relationship and now I don't know what to do. I tought we were open and frank to each other since we started our relationship as two friends and to be honest it was an amazing relationship until the very end. We were able to communicate during our conflicts without disrespecting and upsetting each other (we still do), we helped each other in terms of our other psychological problems, we were basically trying to build a future together by supporting each other, we had great time together that I will never regret and now I can't decide whether the relationship deserves another shot or not cause I don't think I can handle the mistrust and being labelled as cheated gf. I can't bring myself to believe anything he says. He now started therapy and wants to build trust again but I don't know it will ever gonna happen. I suggested him them we should just hang out and stay low key without any labels or so and maybe see other people like we're in an open relationship because I think it's the only way to not end up as the stupid cheated one with lower rights. I don't wanna do this just with the "an eye for an eye" motive but I somehow want to protect myself. What do you guys suggest me or us to do?

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User Profile: carlahp
carlahp December 28th, 2021

well this is your decision so whatever you choose I hope you choose I thinking in the best for you, it seems hard to know what to do if you listen your heart or your brain and im sure that after all of that he was your boyfriend so you kinda love him so much but sometimes even if it’s hard you need to look for yourself like girl you are for sure beautiful and because of this text everybody can see that you have a great heart and someone will see you and fell in love with you and you with him, there are so many chances to find the perfect boy for u, so if this voy didn’t work GIRLL don’t stop there don’t close the door, open it and keep going live your live and let things happen, the perfect guy for you is not going to lose you, this one did it in the worst way, lying. Maybe he can change I’m sure he can, but you are not going to be part of that process, first I think he must become a better persone and then if he loves you he can go and find you but you are not staying there waiting for him to change because maybe he don’t change and maybe you have lost so much time in nothing, so don’t lose that time, because time is a treasure and you have to treat it like it.

4 replies
User Profile: carlahp
carlahp December 28th, 2021

I’m sorry if I wrote something wrong I’m from spain jajaja

1 reply
User Profile: woshira
woshira OP December 28th, 2021

Hahaha no problem English isn't my first language either. Thanks a lootttt for your opinion you can be sure that it means a lot to me💞 I will make sure to not to close the doors all the way out. Hope you will have a great life your own too 🥺

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User Profile: Fangirling99999
Fangirling99999 December 28th, 2021

@carlahp I think she is making all of this up. Cause I remember chicks doing this to me and it really annoyed me. I’m 100% authentic and brilliant.

1 reply
User Profile: woshira
woshira OP December 28th, 2021

Babe tf r u even talking about?

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User Profile: star09
star09 December 31st, 2021

I have a very similar story just with kids involved