Jealous of my own partner's success?
Lately, I've had these feelings. I'm jealous of my own partner's success. Is that even a thing? It sounds so silly when I say it out loud, but this feeling, it's bugging me and I'm not able to talk to him about it, I really can't.
He has a perfect life which he loves, he somewhat has a perfect family, he has a passion, his career is going great as of now. And I'm supposed to feel good for him right?
Well I'm not. And I'm feeling awful about the way I feel but it is the truth.
I don't have a perfect life, I'm lost and confused about career, my self esteem has never been this worse and my family is not perfect too. And it all adds up to hamper my mental health. And while I'm in this state as compared to my partner's life as described above, I somehow feel it's impossible for me to share anything with him. He also hasn't made me feel comfortable enough to make me share such things with him.
What do I do? Please help.
I think what you’re describing is more normal than many people would care to let on: when we’re feeling down about ourselves, it can be easy to become embittered towards others — particularly those close to us. But it’s important to remember that actually, no one’s life is perfect.
You say you haven’t shared this with him and honestly, I’m not sure what it would achieve to tell him that you are jealous of his ‘perfect’ life. What would you like him to actually do about that? Stifle his own happiness in front of you? He will doubtless have his own issues and imperfections anyway, you’re just not seeing them right now because you’re feeling so low about yourself.
Rather than trying to bring your partner down, why not look for ways to improve the areas you’ve already identified as a source of dissatisfaction in your life? You say your family isn’t perfect but no one’s is, so maybe start there and reach out. Or, if his family are great, why not suggest doing something all together so you can increase your bond with them? You could go out and do a fun activity or maybe you and your partner could host a dinner for his family to really impress? I think the way forward is to try and seek positive change, rather than to essentially wish misery on others. That won’t make you happy anyway.
Hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon. There’s always good to find in the world if you look for it! x