Live him… but feel left out…
So, probably my problem will sound stupid or something, but me and my boyfriend been dating for almost 4 years. I truly love him and I believe he loves me as well, but we have so much arguments and most of them are started by me. Everything seems fine to him but I always find problems to adress. I also feel like after dating him my self-esteem fell, I became jealous of everything and overall feeling like not enough… recent problem that got me thinking about break up is other girls. Like he sees some old classmate and it feels like we aren’t a couple anymore he just leaves me standing alone and goes to talk about life and their adventures in the past. I talked with him about this and he says I should just stay with him, but I feel strange about that, because I think he should just ask me to come with him, rather than without saying word going to other girl. It just looks like he shows how he loves me till his past friends come. I don’t feel like he always chooses me which in relationship I think u should. (At least thats my opinion) And I feel like I could do better or rather stay alone, but I love him. Thats why it’s so hard to break up all that we’ve built. I just don’t know what to do. We are a couple and yet I feel so alone…
Don’t know if any of this make sense to you, but I would appreciate all advices.
When you fight, does he listen to your opinion and feelings or does he try to deny it? It’s important that he acknowledges it so that you can have a healthy relationship. It’s normal to fight but you should not feel like your feelings are disregarded. I know you’ve already talked to your boyfriend about how you feel when he goes to talk to other girls, but maybe try and tell him again in the way you wrote it in this thread. It feels like he leaves you standing alone and maybe he could try a different approach by bringing you or asking you if it’s fine first.
If you feel like you could do better or feel better alone, then you’re probably right. You both need to put effort into the relationship and listen to each other. Maybe he hasn’t fully understood how you feel, and he’s not doing it on purpose. But if you feel like you always have to fight about the same things or you feel bad in the relationship, then it’s time to get out of it even though it feels impossible when you’ve been together for so long and you really love him.
You have to ask yourself if you benefit from this relationship, or if you’re only together because you love him. You should never feel that you’re not enough in a relationship and your self esteem should rather go up and not down by being with someone who loves and accepts you. You deserve to be happy and be with someone who really loves you. It’s hard to give advice to someone which relationship you don’t know much about, but I hope my words can still help you somehow. You can always message me if you need more advice from a stranger haha.
