Long Distance, Trust Issues, Different Wants/Needs - Need Advice :(
So my partner and I are long distance, we live about 300 miles away from each other and we've both got our trauma and issues from past relationships. These have been an issue the whole time we've been together (which is just over a year now) and I've been trying to help as much as I can, he isn't willing to reach out for professional help and I truly think that that's what he needs to get better. We had a really deep conversation last night about things, in which he mentioned about moving in together to which my response was that I didn't feel emotionally ready to do that yet as that is so scary to me and he also mentioned in this conversation that if we weren't able to move in with each other at some point in the next few years at an absolute maximum he might have to break things off with me. In the same conversation I expressed that I didn't want children and he said he does. We're both in our early twenties so it's not a issue yet but he said that he doesn't want to get to the point of wanting kids and me not wanting them and that causing stress and a potential break up.
We had another lengthy conversation tonight about those two issues specifically and he just kept asking me if I wanted to break up, which of course I don't want, but I just expressed the same thing he said last night, being that I didn't want to get to a point when were settled down and then the kid issue comes up again.
Now I've got this massive worry in my head that down the line we might break up for one reason or another and that's making my worry about living together even worse. Adding on to it, the trust issues are causing me so much heartache, I'm trying so incredibly hard to help but it doesn't seem to be doing anything, I went out with my friend the other day who he doesn't like and we argued the whole day, I feel like I have to lie about what I'm doing or who I'm talking to because whenever I tell him I'm having a chat with a friend, he finds a reason to get upset and dislike the person, usually it will be that they're flirting with me and trying to steal me off him or sometimes will even accuse me of doing the flirting, even if I'm just being polite. I'm so so so stuck, I'm petrified, I don't want to leave him as I love him with everything I have but on the same hand I'm so worried I'm going to become alone with nobody but him or spend my life walking on eggshells so we aren't arguing because of his trust issues..
With long distance it's all about trust. I'm 800 miles away from mine. It's hard. The first month we had to sit down and map out our future plans and or wants just to make sure the effort and pain of long distance wouldn't be wasted. I do agree with him on the future and children issue, but that's something that doesn't need to be decided right this minute. Yes it's a risk but there are many risks in anything. He needs to trust in you more. And you need to establish boundaries. Discuss how you personally stay socially healthy. That communication with others is necessary for you. Sometimes you have to just say "trust me".