Long distance... Intamacy
Hello everyone🥰 currently I have been in a small long distance relationship for 4 years in college. I like having sex every once in a while but we only see each other once a month, and he’s made me feel incredibly comfortable with saying no, but there’s something in my that I can’t get over where I feel like he’ll leave if I don’t put out since we see each other so little - this is a major insecurity of mine and like I said my partner has made a very comfortable environment, but I don’t want him to be disappointed when there’s no sex as I’m sure he would be? & I’m not sure how to get over this, my insecurity ?
@JMN26
In the matter of insecurity, there's not much difference between long distance and in person. Every individual is unique in their needs and expectations from a relationship, that is why every relationship is as unique as the people in them. It's clear he values your comfort, and you're putting value to avoiding disappointment for him.
The only way to find a happy balance for both partners, is to communicate honestly. Your feelings are valid, it is okay to discuss how you feel with him.
Best Wishes!
Your right I get nervous about that because I don’t ever want him to feel I don’t find him attractive because I don’t want too, and he has worried I don’t find him attractive in general even tho I do compliment and reassure!
@JMN26
You've accurately picked up on signs that he seeks validation for being attractive through intimacy. Long distance can be really hard because a lot of communication isn't as effective when you take away the body language.
That makes sense, i think in a way I do too or we all do, but I like words of affirmation. I think simply saying that I don’t want to do anything but still holding hands and kissing and touching would be a nice simple way of reassurance!