Lost
Day 4 of trying this and I just don’t see it helping any outside of writing the stuff I feel I can’t say. I’ve been with my girl for 4 years and in those years a lot has happened, a lot of doubt and making each other feel they’re not good enough but lately it feels like I’ve fallen into a pit. I love her but she wants more than what I can give and I’m scared of what’s to be said if I say so but I know she matters as well. The person I found comfort in at work as awful as it is, in a constant state of basically pushing me away and bringing me back and it’s hurting me to the point of making myself numb. I haven’t felt like this in so long and I feel so lost.
Hello! You are extremely strong for reaching out! I understand that you are in a really tough situation.
Hi! I’m not good with giving advice, but I found 7 Cups looking for support for a similar situation. It sounds like you don’t feel like you can lean on your girlfriend to support you in this low period, is that correct? It sounds like you’re in a very difficult position with very conflicting emotions. I know how stressful that is. Is there someone you know & trust that you can seek advice from? Or even just someone who you can unload some of the bottled up thoughts to in confidence? Becoming numb is a coping mechanism many of us revert to in such distress, but it can cause us to neglect our own well-being considerably, without even realising. I had a bad breakup with my bf of 3 years and it was a constant push back and forth between living and hating each other for weeks. I stopped looking after myself so much I ended up very ill because I didn’t feel like eating, or leaving the house, or talking to anyone. I felt completely numb too and I understand how hollow it feels to be in that state. One thing I can tell you, and I promise you, is that it does not last forever. You are more than good enough, perhaps your partner isn’t aware you feel that way about your relationship? Are you able to talk about it rationally with them to help them understand the support you need at this time? Please keep your chin up, the stars don’t shine every night for us to always look down. :)
More or less you’re correct, for some stuff I feel I can’t lean on her for so I’ve held onto a lot of it and with my depression it’s been showing itself. She recommended I try 7cups to see if I could find someone whose gone through something similar. She’s aware it’s just we’re on 2 different sides of love languages and even with that understanding it’s like I don’t do or give enough because it’s not in her love language or vice versa. I had found comfort in a coworker with some issues to a point where it kinda became a love interest? But nothings ever happened but she pulls me in close just to push me away when her and her fiancé are doing good. So I’m taking stuff and drinking so I’m numb and don’t think but I’m feeling like I can’t keep my head up, I’m a grown man who almost broke down at work because I just don’t know what to do