Messed Up

So...everything came to ahead today with my husband's cousin. I got into a screaming match with her and unfortunately grabbed her laptop. This had been building for awhile now and I admittedly got out of control. My husband understandably is very mad, sad and disappointed in my behavior. I'm also very disappointed in my behavior. I have no excuse for letting my behavior get to that ppoint. He says he feels betrayed and like I backstabbed him...but I do wish he could see my side just a little bit. He knows that I don't explode like that at all. It takes a lot for me to get to that level of mad. So while I understand his feelings about what happened, I wish he'd realize that this one episode doesn't define me as a person or change who I am.