My Best Friend Hurt Me

So I’ve been friends with this girl, let’s say her name is R. So we’ve been friends for over 10 years, I’m 22 right now, so it’s been a long time. Since senior year of highschool we always had an interest in each other but we never got the chance to do anything. More recently we finally got the chance to try something casual but I admitted to her early on that I had feelings. She kept pressing on that we should mess around and well we did. Recently we went to a bar with our group of friends who didn’t know what was going on. Somebody tried hooking her up with this girl and we all ended up heading back to a friends house. The girls started to kiss since somebody told them to and I got extremely jealous, but I just decided to leave and call a friend about it who’s named Dae. I ended up picking her up and told her everything all the meantime R kept calling me asking where I went. She wanted to go to the party and so we went. When we got there R said she was really pretty and asked if she was Bi for whatever reason. Right after R told me to go to the restroom with her and we started to kiss and she kept asking if I brought her to make her jealous and who she was to me. She also kept asking me over and over if I got jealous and I was honest with her about it, I told her yes. She left the restroom just to go makeout with the girl again. Through the night she kept dragging me into the restroom to kiss me and kept asking questions about jealousy and the girl that I brought. When I took her home we messed around again but during the whole event she kept asking me if I jealous over and over, at that point it was just hurting and I told her to stop it and she thought I was playing around still. I finally took her home. The next day we had a little get together with her cousins and some friends, we went together to go grab the beer and the drinks and everything. Then we had a little party and she told me to get drunk so I did. Apparently the cousins and friends, well everyone at the party knew I was her little side piece and I caught feelings and I’m sure she talked bad about me. After the party she took me home even though she said I could stay the night, hence the reason I got drunk. The next day out of nowhere she doesn’t want to talk to me. Apparently her cousins told her to ghost me but she didn’t want to since we were so close. One of my friends also told me that she wanted to cut me off since I had feelings but she knew that since the beginning. She constantly hurt me with the jealousy thing, rubbing it in my face. She even got jealous herself meaning she possibly got some feelings too. I don’t know. I’m just a mess right now and I’m mad and sad at everything and the situation. I feel like I didn’t mess up but it feels like my fault. She tried to play victim to all her family and our friends but I’m the one crying and feeling shitty while she’s out partying again.