Narc ?
I have a 15 your age gap and me and my boyfriend have a 10 month old baby together. We’ve been together for two years and we’re going through some hard times. I am an addict and I’m not taking a *** and doing things that I would never do to him. About him and I love him and he thinks otherwise because of my actions, but he treats me so poorly he blames everything on me he says that I’m not capable of loving he says that I’m not able to be a mother and I’m never gonna get married things like that calling me *** and saying that things about my past so I don’t know what to do
@consideratePomegranate1725
I’m sorry you’re having such hard times. Addiction is a really tough challenge. Significant others may not fully understand how hard it is to get rid of it. Unfortunately, it’s pretty common for significant others to believe their partner loves the addiction more than them.
You’re absolutely right about actions carrying a much stronger message than words in these situations. There is such pain related to these issues that hurtful things are often said and later on regretted. Do you feel that a further exchange of words will help? Between words and actions, what is more likely to help?
“…and saying that things about my past so I don’t know what to do.”
You can’t undo the past. Yet believe it or not, any difficult past can be an instrument for gaining wisdom, empathy and compassion. Do you feel your boyfriend is really holding your past against you? Could it be that he’s worried that your future will be very much like your past? It doesn’t have to be.
Sometimes there’s a difference between not knowing what to do, and knowing but having difficulty accepting what needs to be done.
It sounds like you’d benefit from some form of addiction counseling. I hope you find your path to freedom from addiction.
