Not sure what to do

Ok here it goes. I have been at a loss on where to turn. I have a few things I need to vent about and I'm not sure where to start.

1. My wife in my opinion won't do things directly for me even when asked. I've asked for a few messages through the day and only get one when she needs me to do something. It's never: hey how's your day or along those lines. When I've mentioned it she says she is busy. But she can hold a Convo with two of her friends all day long.

When I come home she usually finishes her work then goes to lay in bed to talk to them and watch TikTok. She doesn't want to watch my dumb shows.

2. She thinks that lying and hiding (being sneaky in her words) is a normal thing. (Her mom hid money from her father, went out to bars with the girls at work, and had "work husband's")

In the example I asked about a purchase from our account and she replied this is why I like cash you can be sneakier with it. Back to this she wants a girls night out to a hotels diner and drinks with friends. I reluctantly agreed with the deal of no bars, but will I ever really know?

3. My wife and mother do not see eye to eye. Go the longest time it was manageable (in my mind it still is) but after a misunderstanding on TikTok the back and forth vaguebook posts started. I think it would be easiest just to stop but neither seem to want to be the bigger person. This now creates a stressful situation every time one or the other posts anything or when we try to do family gatherings.

We have 3 boys and married 13 years sonindont want to leave and I would like things to get better (we were great when younger and when doing things as a family when have a great time. Am I over thinking things?