Overwhelmed

My husband of 5 years is someone who struggles with drinking. There have been times where, while drunk, he’s talked to other women or looked at porn. The porn I can deal with but actually looking to talk to someone is what I don’t know how to deal with. We’re in this constant cycle of drinking moderately until it gets out of hand and I catch on that he’s being secretive and confront him about it so he stops drinking to prove that I’m all he needs. We’ve been in this cycle for the past 3 years. This last time I went thru his phone and found a deleted private picture. Not nude but it was of his lower half. I can’t tell if it was sent to anyone so it’s not proof that he’s sexting and I haven’t told him I saw that. However, I did tell him I knew he was blacked out and watching porn again. So he’s been sober a week now for which I am happy. I just can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to the picture.... I don’t tell friends about our relationship because I feel alone or get told to leave. I’m emotionally not ready for that. I know it would be a bad breakup and we have kids together. Just feeling alone and overwhelmed