Partner Anxiety

I have just gotten into my first relationship and I am happy with how everything is going for the most part. However, a couple days ago my girlfriend and I had to have a “talk” because I got mad at her for something stupid because she was being weird (still kind of is). My behavior was a large part of the blame; however after sitting down and talking with her, she told me that she loves me very much and sees us being long term. But she also said my bipolar has been the only roadblock so far because of my unstable mood and because when I am manic I say some triggering things about myself, which sometimes I cannot control. This made me have such a sick feeling in my stomach.

For whatever reason, I have been feeling relationship anxiety for a large part of 2 weeks ago. Some of that went away when we had talked, but it made me mire anxious about us in some ways. I am scared one day I will be manic and she just wont want to stand by me and instead she will just leave me because of it. This also made me feel stressed about her not being as interested in me, even though she said she still loves me a lot.

The only thing she wanted from me is to go see a therapist through insurance, which would require me to tell my parents. This scares me as well because I do not want to be seen as weak by my parents.

Along with all of this, she has been less talkative with me as of this month, which makes me feel like im not doing enough and I am failing the relationship. Even though she always reassures me that she loves me, I always have self doubt and think shes just going to switch up. We just had this talk and I dont want to be annoying by asking her why shes been less talkative recently; however, on the flip side this makes me feel so stressed and I get so much anxiety thinking about this…to the point where my stomach will hurt because of stress for hours.

Am I having faulty emotions ? I wish I knew the answer, but this just has been at the top of my mind for a week or two now and I need to talk about it somehow. I love her so much and I dont want to mess up what we have because of the randomness in my emotions.

-slixy