Relationship Advice
Hi I’m new here, and I need some advice. I’m in a relationship, we’re both currently really happy, (I’m 22 he’s 25). We met in November and have been together going on 6 months In may. We had a rocky start to our relationship, his ex girlfriend had been in touch with him and he had seen her the day before he first met me. Once she found out he was dating me, she reached out to me to inform me that they had been seeing each other and was wanting to know personal information about me, which I was clearly not okay with and blocked her. I confronted him on the situation and was ready to leave, but he was honest with everything I had asked him and I let it go. Since then, things have been great between us, but I’m starting to feel like he’s trying to control me. He had asked me to move in with him, which I’m slowly doing, (he lives at home with his mom and grandma) and it’s been absolutely a stressful situation for me. His grandma fell and broke her hip 3 weeks ago and I’ve been her caregiver while his mom and him are both at work, I’m also trying to balance doing Veterinary school in the mix of all this. His grandma is trying to control me as in getting upset with me when I say I am going back to my house to spend time with my family, she doesn’t like that and uses the line “well you need to tell your family this is your new home now.” I also feel that he’s criticizing my outfits that I wear, (note you, I dress very decent, but he says my butt “pops” out of my jeans and I wear high waisted jeans that are a little big on me) and everytime I leave the house to come back to my home, he always has to know what I’m doing, where im at and if I don’t answer the phone immediately when he calls I get the response of “we’re you talking to your boyfriends” and it absolutely bothers me. I’ve never cheated in a relationship and I’m not talking to any other guys but have guy friends that I’ve known for years and are very well known in my family and know I have a boyfriend. I was physically abused in a past relationship, and it’s hard for me to deal with him judging me on what I wear, constantly having tabs on me and I just don’t know if it’s normal for a guy to do that or not. If anyone has any advice on how to help I would be so thankful for you!
Hello, Are you happy the way things are? Have you talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling? Do you think it was good idea to move in and take on more responsibility?
I actually spoke to him tonight about how I felt, and i honestly felt better, at first when I addressed this issue a few weeks back, I felt he was just trying to tell me “it’s okay, we will figure it out” and basically telling me what I wanted to hear, and I was blunt about how I felt, and I feel like this time he actually took my feelings in consideration and is willing to tell his grandma that she needs to focus on herself and not worry about me. At first, it wasn’t that big of responsibility, but the fact that I got stuck taking care of her kinda bothered me because I’m not trained much in the medical field in case something would’ve happened to her like another fall of that sort, it just scared me and I felt uncomfortable with it. It’s been a lot of stress to deal with but I feel like now that I’ve re addressed the issue, if it continues then moving in may not be my best option due to the controlling factor on his part. Thank you for helping me better realize and help myself re asses my situation in a clearer state of mind :)
@energeticCranberry5091
Constanntly criticizing what you wear, and trying to keep tabs on your every move is the signature of an immature, insecure man-child.
Only you can tell if that is worth keeping in your life.
Here's to thing getting better! I'm kind of on the other side of things and I think he needs to realize your space and time with your family is important as well!