Relationship advice

What’s the fight about? My husband and I fight like crazy I mean there’s holes in my doors not because we hit eachother he punched one door and I did the other when we got to caught up. For my relationship my husband is old school women should listen to the men etc. I don’t really agree lol so we clash and when it needs to stop I say you know what your right I’m wrong and I’m sorry and it won’t happen again. I may not mean it nor am I in the wrong but for the sake of stopping I take the steps. It totally sucks. But he is my only friend

Couples counseling if you’re both open to it, both of you can make lists of things you’re ok with in your relationship and not and then share and discuss them, remind each other why you fell in love, do something nice for each other randomly, set boundaries as in things that you both cant tolerate and set the consequences of it happening (ex. If you don’t like when he doesn’t listen then you might set a consequence like you won’t talk for a few hours or a day), talk about what the future looks like for both of you together, when you start to get mad picture an ocean floor to calm down and imagine yourself staying in calm waters, if you still get mad as for a minute to yourself to think before you say anything, to get along with someone both of you have to be willing to do that and able to openly discuss your emotions, take time to not talk to each other for a bit then come together, look at both perspectives of every situation to understand both your emotions and his and he should do the same, hope these help

@Mommy100500

As a relationship moves from the initial honeymoon stage (where everything about your partner is just amazing!) to the reality stage, disagreements are normal. This is where you're both trying to figure out a deeper relationship and understand each other's values and belief systems ... and you're both actually listening to each other beyond the rose coloured glasses, to disagree. The disagreements are important because debate and discussion, even arguments will lead you to build a stronger understanding of common ground. A better acceptance of each other's strengths and weaknesses. The issue here is mostly about the way this disagreement or difference of opinion is being handled. If it becomes a fight, it causes hurt and shuts down those precious doors of understanding.

Can you try setting some healthy boundaries? e.g. when he says something that hurts you, say so. I am hurt, can we take a break for a few mins? If he realises that he said it just to score a point and didn't really mean to hurt you, he gets the window to say sorry .. and restart more sensibly on the actual issue.

I think probably the most important tip to remember is, no matter what the issue - you both are a team. It's you both against the disagreement, not you against him. Personal attacks are never helpful because people lose sight of logic when they get defensive. Particularly in a relationship, it is important for both parties to always feel loved, valued and respected.