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Should I remain friends

User Profile: Brocgroc432
Brocgroc432 December 30th, 2023

I was recently contacted by a former friend and have mixed/confusing feelings.  For backgtound, we had both expressed our love for each other long time ago.  We would talk and plan out our whole lives while living in completely different states.  We talked and she went through serious hardships with the suicide of a close relative; we still made efforts to be in close contact.  She flew to meet me and I moved in with her, but it only lasted briefly.  Shortly after arriving she said all the feelings she said to me was just drunk talk.  I decided to leave.  It was very hard getting over her, we tried to remain friends after I moved but it made me very tense so I stopped contact.  Now she's contacted me again nearly 2yrs later, still saying we're old friends and that she loves me.  I haven't responded and feel mixed up if I even should.

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User Profile: jperson99
jperson99 December 30th, 2023

@Brocgroc432

That's quite an emotionally taxing scenario. It's completely understandable to have emotions after going through something, like that. It's crucial to take some time to evaluate your feelings and think about what would be best, for your well being. Reconnecting with someone who caused confusion and pain in the past can potentially stir up challenging emotions. When deciding whether or not to respond or reconnect it's important to prioritize your health and comfort. It's absolutely fine to prioritize your peace of mind above all else.
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User Profile: Brocgroc432
Brocgroc432 OP December 31st, 2023

@jperson99

Thank you for your comments, I appreciate you taking time with it and it certainly helped.  I agree, I need to take more time and think about it before jumping in to respond and setting myself up to be hurt.  I really want to, but it truly does make me a bit uneasy...I still have feelings for her, even as a friend but I'm not ready.  Thank you again and have a happy new year!

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User Profile: WhiteAura9
WhiteAura9 January 2nd, 2024

Jperson99 has best put it. Do not let mixed feelings or rushed emotions take over. Understand what's best for you, and do the needful. Do not take emotion-based decision. Those may only lead to more heartache later. Being kind to others is one thing, but doing so at your cost is never ideal.

User Profile: KatePersephone
KatePersephone January 3rd, 2024

@Brocgroc432 thank you for sharing this with us!