Single mom dating a toxic man?
I’m a single mom of 3 and have been divorced for about five years. (Sole custody, left an abusive spouse who struggled with addiction.) I’m dating a man who is also a single parent to three. In the beginning it was amazing. I felt alive again, we were having so much fun. We’ve talked about marriage and even looked at rings. But I’m noticing things that scare me. I don’t trust easily and am far from perfect. But are these normal or toxic behaviors? Here are a few examples...cussing in front of the kids, binge drinking on the weekends, telling white lies constantly, getting mad over trivial things and then stonewalling me for an entire day, if I voice something that hurts my feelings he just says, “If I’m such a bad guy, then leave me.” While he was in a previous relationship, he cheated on her by sleeping with his ex wife. He doesn’t want to make any changes. It expects me to change religions and have my kids move school districts. He’s a good provider and is very involved with his kids, but it just seems so toxic. Am I self sabotaging or are these red flags?
@blueMango6248 i would tread your waters carefully it does seem a little toixc hopefully things don't get worse over time.
@blueMango6248
It's understandable that the relationship which was amazing and fun is going through this deeper scrutiny as you contemplate marriage and a more serious, stable influence of this person in your and your children's future.
“If I’m such a bad guy, then leave me.” That feels important to answering your question. Are you okay with this response to your concerns?
A relationship or marriage is a conscious decision to be together, with certain expectations on both sides. As you understand more of this man, perhaps you would be able to evaluate whether he offers you the sort of future you hope for.
Good Luck and I hope you find the happiness you deserve!