Sister in law issues

I have autism disclaimer

my sister is law has triggered my autism so bad before,during and now a year and a half after my wedding to her brother brother (my other half).

on my hen do she had a massive diva fit saying she didn’t like the dress (which she picked her self and was in agreement with me as the bride as I didn’t want the girls wearing anything boobie or revealing due to my personal beliefs and older generation been in attendance please remeber this line for later)… my hen do was 2 weeks before the wedding.

she then weekend prior to the weekend sent her brother my husband a message ‘has my name got curling tongs’ I was out at work and came home to find a box of sentimental hair products (brought by mum and my late nan with about 6/7 expensive ghds and dysons etc gone) and had taken by her while I was out I was fuming and my husband stayed up all night as she claimed she was using them for a party to see if she wourld bring them to back but he ended up going to get them where she showed no signs of bringing them back to me and claimed she was borrowing when she didn’t even ask me properly plus the shook of it all…

The wedding she was a brat and really sulky the whole day she made no effort to take part in the bridal suite with the others and got the hump when I was having my bridal photos done of just me on my own after the bridal party had there’s done proir to going down the asile.. I even had comments from the photographer and hair and make up team saying they felt uncomfortable with her behaviour as it was unsettling and they said they courld only imagine how it must of made me feel and to top it off she showed up in a dress with her *** pretty much hanging out and a massive slit I just wanted to cry and cry when it happened as I also felt so hurt and embrassed by her actions.

the wedding eveing she was staying the night and I was under the impression she was staying with the other much kinder hearted sister however the brat shows up with her boyfriend saying he wants to meet us and lying saying to vice Versa me and husband agreed he was able to come in (we never spoke about this and he was last the person we wanted to see) … they both was at the bar helping them selfs not paying for the drinks and not even thank you to my mum and dad who put the money before the bar she also got argumentative towards me when I questioned him for basically trespassing on the wedding and it also triggered my autism a lot on that part as was out of the rountine of who was meant to be there and who I had mentally prepared for…

when I’ve brought it to the Attention of the sister in law since I get fake apologies and she makes it about her self or try’s to pin the blame on me … I feel like I am to blame and feel so scared I tried speaking to my mother in law and things got made worse and both the mother in law and the horrible sister in law made some nasty abelist comments towards me and pinning blame on to me the mother in law also still believes she borrowed my hair bits which hurts so much as I know if I can was in her shoes in I’d never even dream of doing what she did…

it’s been almost year but the upset is still so fresh I refuse to speak let alone go to my in laws after it all with Xmas coming my anxiety is rising so high .., my husband I can’t stop if he wants to go there and speak to them and it’s been almost a year for him but he says he wants to soon I’m scared of what will be said etc … I’ve asked him what his plans are to support me going forward and I’ve said If he goes there any nasty comments about what happened or about me he is to come home at once and stick up for me as his wife … I ask him if he remembers the hurt caused by them and he says he chooses to forget I just wish all invold wourld see the trauma it’s caused me .. I’m scared to leave the flat etc incase things gets taken again and feel parts of our wedding day was scared I’m finding it so hard to forget and just want to carry on on non speaking to terms to the in-laws etc please adivse …