Suggestions welcome!

Hello all! I am in a wonderful but complex relationship. We have been together for 7 years, and are engaged. We are the textbook definition of opposites attract. Politically, somewhat lifestyle wise, and definitely socially.

This is where my confusion lies... I almost always feel like he is aloof and uncaring, but there are some times where he is the most thoughtful person I know, and I think I may have discovered why...

I work with children with autism/autistic children, and the more I'm in this profession, the more I'm convinced that my finance is on the spectrum. I have even told him of my suspicion and he said I am probably right. He is not in a financial position to try and get diagnosed though, and even if he was it's probably something he wouldn't do. Honestly, I don't care about him getting an official diagnosis if that is not what he wants to do. And I think he would be open to doing some more research into ASD, and what that could mean for him.

My biggest concern is that we have talked about doing couples counseling, and I would want a counselor that specialized in neurodiverse couples. Would he need an official diagnoses for this? Is anyone else dealing with a similair situation?