Touchy subject
So my other half recently decided to seek help from therapy regarding our unfavorable past. I've asked people why I feel some type of way about it and what I should do to overcome it. Please don't mistake this as me being unsupportive, I'm all for him getting the help he needs. What I really need is a way to not feel the distrust during his sessions, mostly because I know the majority of them are about me. I want to know how I can get myself into a neutral state of mind with this.
@versatilePlace7462
I've had many therapy sessions over the years without my wife. The first, probably most obvious, and probably not workable thing is … is there a way that you can work it out to go together? That would seemingly be the best solution (something my wife was never willing to do). If this is at all possible, I would suggest it.
Maybe as a compromise do some meetings jointly and some with him alone?
The second is, can you ask him if you can talk about the meetings afterward? If you do this, it must be in the most supportive gentle nonjudgemental way possible. I imagine this would be volatile, but it could have benefits. Perhaps not each meeting - perhaps after a few meetings?
From my experience … don't ever lash out at him about the meetings - that only encourages self-care, and if you actually care about him (more than my wife does me), please support him in this.
I know I'm coming from a difficult position on this. I am glad you shared here, and I believe you can find a way to be supportive for good for both of you.
Best wishes.
I'm so greatful for your response. Thank you so much. To answer your question, we've made multiple attempts to talk eachother through these things. My thoughts are that because it involves both of us, neither of us can really be objective in our responses. It's like we're on auto defense and most of the time it results in pretty bitter nights. I know this is why he decided to get advice elsewhere. I don't blame him, I can be pretty impulsive with my responses or reactions to things. I know it's my fault 😕 I think something may just be deeply wrong with me to be feeling this way about it. I feel so ugly with myself knowing that this is his way of healing and for some unfair and selfish reason it just gets to me knowing he has someone to talk to while I dont. I've considered asking him about the sessions and he's handed me his phone in a "just read it instead" kind of manner. Which further amplifies my feeling like I'm breaching some boundary that invades his privacy. **sigh** this is such a struggle. I'll decently find a way to ask if we can try the joint sessions if he's willing to.