Trouble deciding

Before my boyfriend and I were a thing were were really good friends and now I just feel awkward around him. And whenever he try’s to kiss me I push him away. He loves me so much but I just don’t know how to break it to him that I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I don’t want to hurt him I’m afraid he will be very sad without my present’s because he was not super happy until I started going out with him. He has said he used to harm himself before we got together and I’m afraid breaking up with him would bring him back into that place.