Verbal Abuse

Hello all 👋 So I have been with my partner for almost 10 years now. He was the first and only serious relationship I've been in and I love him but I am at the point where I am not sure what to do. He has always been alittle disrespectful but I've always thought he was the background he's come from but now I am realizing that I am currently in a verbally abusive relationship. It started months into the relationship where he would get super angry with me and threaten to end the relationship and I would always apologize because I was new to the whole relationship thing but I look back now and understand that he was using this to manipulate me. He calls me names that I've told him multiple times I find very disrespectful but he doesn't seem to care at all. If I try and speak my mind about things during an argument he belittles how I feel and no matter what I say, I am always the one in the wrong and I end up having to apologize for everything even though he may be the one starting something. He has a anger issue for sure because sometimes our of nowhere he will go into a rage where he slams a door, knocks over my things and threatens to kick me out because tech I'm not on the lease but I pay rent every month like him. It makes me super anxious to even stand up for myself at this point and I don't know if I am crazy for even staying but when he's not like this he is great and I love him but I worry for my mental sanity and health because it has been very stressful having a partner that sometimes doesn't seem to care at all about how I feel.