What’s your opinion?
Hello everyone I would greatly appreciate if I can have your opinion on this dilemma that I been living for the past couple of years. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. I love him whole heartedly and fell in love with him from the very beginning. I can admit that I rushed the gun I introduced him to everyone who’s anyone to me & made him feel like apart of the family. He knows me in & out. On the other hand he kept his family life away from me for a while I only recently met his mom about a year & a half ago and that is because I insisted. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen his side of the family because he’s always at my house. He hasn’t introduced me to any friends, he’s pretty active on Instagram but hasn’t posted me not once. We even went on vacation together & I commented on his picture & he deleted it. but we have had some infidelity issues from the very beginning. I’ve had his ex send me their inappropriate conversations & since then there has been the occasional random call from girls that he says are just friends or that they mean nothing. My boyfriend tries his best to make me happy after how hurt he saw that I was & I really thought that he changed but the today another ransom girl called & he claimed it was someone from work who needed advice (he didn’t answer the call btw) Well I had a guy friend for a couple years now & he came in my life around the same time as my boyfriend but the relationship was strictly platonic. But he’s always there for me when I need him & I mean ALWAYS. He’s helped me financially, with my education, support when I need it & the regular laugh to make my day. I hang out with his friends & He makes me feel so special and taken care of but this is exactly what I’m feeling that my boyfriend lacks. He recently expressed to someone that he has feelings for me & im completely stuck I love my boyfriend & my friend had the qualities that I wished my boyfriend had more of... what should I do????
Mhm. So it sounds like you've been very invested and open since the beginning and he was more guarded. He's hesitant to show you his side of the family or friends and won't tell you about them much which, I imagine, makes you feel like he doesn't trust you. In addition, there have been issues with unfaithfulness since the very beginning. I do not know why he acts like that, and I imagine neither do you. You say he tried his best to make you happy after that—but did he apologize and regret it? Did you blame and forgive him? Those are important things to do before moving on. You mention your guy friend whom you've known for quite some time has some qualities you would like your boyfriend to have more of.. that sentence sounds to me like you feel your boyfriend is lacking in those areas. What do you think you should do? I think you should follow your heart. Do you think you would be happier outside of this relationship or with your friend? Sometimes the choices that feel 'right' aren't the ones that don't hurt—sometimes what's best for us does hurt, ultimately you have to decide if you're putting more into this than you're receiving and if both you and your partner are happy right now and if not—if you're both willing to work through the issues. Hope that helps!
@powerfulPomegranate3562
From your post, it appears you've focused on all the negatives of your current relationship and listed all the positives in the strictly platonic friend. Why is that?
I want all of the positive traits in my boyfriend!!! And I don’t think they’re hard to achieve. He just doesn’t try enough.
@powerfulPomegranate3562
" He makes me feel so special and taken care of but this is exactly what I’m feeling that my boyfriend lacks. " - This. They either have it or don't. In my opinion, this isn't something you can expect to change in someone who hasn't shown it in 3 years of trying to make you happy. Are you in love with him enough to believe him when he says he's doing his best?
@rosalita yes I feel like he’s been doing the whole your doing something behind my back game & whole time it was actually him. You’ve mad a great point that I’m realizing now he has apologized but never really acknowledged my feelings. It was more of a “you’re my girlfriend they don’t matter” I want to make this work but I also don’t want to be naive & think that things will get better & he’s once again showing me the opposite.
