jealousy

Hi everyone, this is really weird and i’m not sure if anyone will be able to relate but i’m (F) in a 2 year relationship right now and all is going well i’m really happy and he’s really the most loving person ever but theres just this one problem that keeps resurfacing over and over again for the past few MONTHS and it's getting really starting to get tiring for the both of us :( its basically caused by my insecurities and i really want to try overcome it. basically before we were officially together (it was that confusing together but not together talking stage phase lmao) i introduced him to one of my gay guy bestfriends and as my boyfriend and i started getting more serious we were all getting closer as a group too. but as the months went on they started getting really close individually and at first i was completely fine with it like i was genuinely happy about it but fast forward to now and theyre really close bestfriends (as am i with that gay bestfriend of mine btw) and my boyfriend really does consider him as one of, if not his top bestfriend and as selfish as it is i keep getting bothered by it. i remember really early on in my boyfriend and i’s relationship my bestfriend would constantly tell me how hot he was and how lucky i am to have him (however this was before they became close so i cant really confirm this to be the case for the present time) and although its sooooo long ago i still keep somehow thinking about it and i keep questioning whether he still feels the same way and questioning whether he’s trying to take my boyfriend away from me (i know it sounds dumb but i seem to keep overthinking), he also always seems to subtly rub being with my boyfriend in my face whenever theyre out together or whenever he thinks he knows something about him that i dont however i think what bothers me the most is how much he knows about my boyfriend. They also call eachother bubba and bubs a lot so it kinda makes me feel as though the nicknames my boyfriend has with me are nothing special because of how endearing boyfriend is with him. i think it might be because he’s my friend too as i dont feel this way with any of my boyfriends’ other friends but it keeps feeling as though i’m sharing my boyfriend with someone else yakno, my boyfriend seems to share everything with him and it doesnt feel as though i’m anything special to my boyfriend cause i seem to share all his pivotal points in his life and every aspect of his day with my gay bestfriend. sometimes i also feel as though he knows my boyfriend more than i do. we have a groupchat together consisting of us three and whenever something happens in his life he seems to consult both of us about it not really all the time cause sometimes its only me but yeah. and my boyfriend likes to post him too like just individual pictures of my gay bestfriend on his second ig acc which is something i barely have him do with me anymore as much as i tell him how nice it makes me feel so that really does make me feel jealous because i’m not sure why i dont deserve the same appreciation as he (our gay bestfriend) does. my boyfriend does a lot for me and to prove his love for me but because of this problem my brain seems to mask all his efforts because i’m too focused on our gay bestfriend instead of our relationship. i know this problem is really selfish of me to even have too cause my boyfriend really finds my (our) gay bestfriend really special to him too cause he’s helped him through a lot but everytime i try to grow and make myself accept it for what it is i keep falling back into the same trap and my feelings about it happen all over again, it keeps feeling like a cycle and idk what to do anymore. i know its mostly just me overthinking i do talk to my boyfriend about it but i know he’s starting to get frustrated about it too because of how frequent this seems to happen and i dont want to take his bestfriend away from him either but i’m just not sure what to do and how to overcome this problem anymore. it feels like i’ve tried everything :( so i was wondering whether anyone had any tips or advice on how i should confront this problem because i really dont know what to do anymore 😭😭

(i’m sorry this is so long and for all the punctuation/grammar errors cause i didnt proof read anything i just wrote at all 😭😭 i’m really not sure whether anyone will actually read through this whole thing but if you did thank you mwah and have a great day <3)