not being the best version of myself
My boyfriend is great, he has his life together, a steady job and everything and I want him to have the best version of myself as a girlfriend. But I have a lot of issues, anxiety and traumas (one of them he caused in the past), so I have a long way to get better. I'll fail a lot of times and I failed before, but his reaction to that wasn't the best. I love him and I know he loves me, but sometimes I feel like I should have a break from that relationship to fully heal and maybe then I'll be enough, but I'm afraid that he'll find someone better or that he'll start to have feelings for one of our friends, because she's now the definition of perfection.
Hey there I'm currently going through this same situation kind of my girlfriend broke up with me last night because I had a falling out with my family that I haven't spoken to Iyears they have abandoned me when I was younger (9yrs old)after my mother passed away I'm now 25 . they said some hurtful things once they found my social media and that resurfaced alot of unhealed parts of me that I kept to myself it triggered apart in me that I just shut down all together and I allowed it to ruin my whole day and that resulted in my girlfriend leaving me because apparently she thinks i shouldn't have let them get to me to the point that I emotionally disconnected from her this was the first time I ever let something get under my skin ...it was a one moment thing ..is it wrong for me to feel as though it's not fair that she left ? She's had moments like these were she's pushed me away and have used me as an escape goat for her pain when I did nothing to her and this has happened multiple times compared to my one time .. but I let it slide and was understanding and forgave her because I know we're all human and we go through things .. I'm just lost and confused sad and kinda angry about it all in always there for her but she's cannot ever reciprocate that back to me .. I tried to explain myself but she didn't give.me that safe space like I give her and that's sparks a anger in my I've never felt before I just wish she would hear me out and try to understand like I do for her ..and I wrong for feeling this way?