toxic relationship but I can’t let go

I will write down "our" story, because I'm trying to make progress with letting him go.

I'm 20 y/o and met him almost two years ago and fell for him. He's a bit older than me, out of university and working. From the beginning, we couldn't really meet because something at work came always up and it was true. I was still in school and we saw each other like twice a week, I always drove to his working place in the afternoon and had to go the next morning. He had his life build around him, so we couldn't meet at the weekends and we both were sad about it, especially me.

He always told me that he would change that and that we would live together someday, that he would show me the world and loved me forever. And I believed him.

Then it really started.. that he wouldn't cancel. I can't even tell how many times it happened but when we had plans (that one oder two times a week), I got ready, was happy to see him and he just didn't text me. I waited and waited, then I cried. Late in the evening, he would text me that he was so sorry and explained what happened. Mostly work. But never did he tell me that he has no time.
So it must have been over fourty times when I was excited and then waited hours for nothing.

Always telling me that it will be okay and he's working on it, for almost two years.

it makes me so sick, I am always crying. He is lying to me, has no time and yet.. he tells me he loves me. But he shattered my heart in so many pieces and I just wanna let go..

thank you <3