Barriers to pleasure
So I tried asking in a group chat about this, but it didn't go well. It didn't trigger anyone or anything, but I just don't think anyone knew how to answer. So I guess I will put this here, seeing this might be a more appropriate area to do so.
Perhaps I need to go into some background first.
I am a college student who recently discovered her struggles with depression. I grew up being the "hero" for everyone ever since I can remember. I mean everyone, mom, dad, etc. I don't really confide into anyone. I've learned over time that it is something I cannot afford to do, for it always ends poorly for me despite the good intentions of others. After realizing I had a problem I came here and since thenit's helping me figure things out, even if it's little by little.
So, now some more recent background:
I'm a very sexual person. I LOVE sex. I jokingly say that I maybe addicted, but that's not the truth at all, as I don't feel the urge to have it all the time and to my knowledge have no symptoms of sex addiction (for those suffering from it, I hope I have not offended/triggered you in anyway, if I have, I apologize). But in a recent...I can't say one-night stand for I've sex with this person before. I guess I would call it a recent "sexscapade" the guy whom I was with was trying to get me to cum, but wasn't successful. He truly tried everything. I honestly couldn't help him because no one has truly gotten me off before during sex. Like I have gotten myself off through masturbation, but I haven't gotten that same orgasm from that in sex at all. What's sad is that he knew I hadn't cum either. I didn't know what to tell him.
It was amazing sex though. It felt amazing, but after that night (a few nights ago), I realized that truth and was wondering if anyone else could tell me why it is that way. I feel like perhaps it's a barrier I have, but I don't know what it is, so I can't overcome it until I know. Perhaps my depression has something to do with it? Or could it be something else?
It's confusing to me. The man I had sex with felt awful about it too. He tried for twoand a half hours. So I have to wonder, what is it that I need to do? Or is it just something I need? Can anyone tell me?
AutumnEagle
Just relax. You don't have to orgasm every time you have sex. When I masturbate I can have multiple orgasm but when I have sex, sometimes I don't have any orgasm but it doesn't mean the sex wasn't good enough. I don't know how to explain but sometimes my boyfriend try a lot to me to have it, and sometimes it just come naturally... I don't think this have something to do with depression or anxiety... I think you just need to stop pushing your self to have this and just enjoy the moment. (Sorry for my bad english)
Your English is fine PinkMinion. :D
I know I don't have to all the time, but I never have during sex before. That's why I'm asking. I've never really pushed myself before until then either.
But about the relaxing part. I never know how to fully relax anymore for anything. It takes me a lot of time to relax muscles for doctors and etc. It's almost like I'm constantly afraid of something. Of course I don't think about it then, but I don't know.
not sure if this is what your looking for but its al I've got. some women don't have orgasms from penetration, they need clitoral stimulation. that being said try it during sex, flick that bean!(humor). also relax, tell your partner to enter slow and count to 3 in your head, give yourself time to relax. or increase your 4 play. I have the same situation as you. clitoral stimulation gets me that orgasm. unfortunately my current partner doesn't care about my sexual needs, all that matters are his. sooosex is a hurry up type thing and then I please myself.
Well, I will give it a go. Thanks.
I think it's more about the emotional connection you have with the guy, so basically it depends on the guy. I had never felt a true orgasm until I met my husband....and it wasn't because he was experienced...he was a virgin. It was just how we felt about each other and it made the physical sensations much stronger
Hi AutumnEagle and welcome to 7cups! I read your post and can somewhat relate also. Not all women can orgasm through sex. Why? I'm not sure but I can say that experimenting with this can help. If you would like to talk more personally about this feel free to pm me as I prefer to keep chats confidential
Yeah it's all about you relaxing, if you are too keen to have an orgasm it will not happen,just relax free your mind and enjoy the sex,and u might want to slow down on masturbation cos you will get used to pleasuring yourself more than a guy doing so for you.try all positions ,you never know what could hit the right spot.
Thanks everyone. I think I'm starting to get it now. The guy I have been having sex has also been helping with that as well (well, in his own way anyways). It's a process, so thank you :D