I can't accept sexuality
So, there's something that keeps me from enjoying sexual activities. Since I'm a minor, the only sexual experience I have is masturbation, but I've been feeling frustrated lately. I can't enjoy masturbation because I'm not happy with my body, I feel ashamed of my appearance. But at the same time I can't stop doing it's something hormonal and biological. So I'm stuck in a loop where I masturbate and lower my self-esteem even more.
When I masturbate, it obviously feels good and pleasant, but after I finish, I suddenly get back to reality: that I'm just an ugly kid masturbating in the bathroom, fantasizing about women I don't even know and that I will probably stay virgin for the rest of my life... It sounds depressing to be honest.
Also, I must say that I have a kind of negative view of sex and love, because I don't think that I'm good enough for those things.
I can only think of two solutions: Stop any kind of sexual activity forever, or learn to accept myself... What do you think I should do? And sorry for bad English.
@Dino480
Hey. it is great to be this open and honest. I sadly struggle with the same thing as you. I have alwasy wanted to be in a relationship and be lvoed and... well... make love. but since that hasnt happened and i am now 20 yrs old, i have decided to masturbate. and like u i dont feel comfortable in my body adnd feel like i will be alone for ever. but we need to try to put ourselves out there. be unforgiving and be who u are regaurdless of what others think. that will show those around u that u are proud of who you are! I have begun to do this and it seems to be helping. I will warn you that it wont be easy, like eating or simple addition problems, but it will help.
i hope i was able to encourage you with this.
@Dino480
I understand this feeling, I used to have the same problem. I'm not sure how old you are or what your exact self esteem issues are, but accepting yourself usually isnt as hard as it seems. That's not to say it's easy, but it is possible, and I wouldnt deny yourself masturbation, that's a very good release for boys at any age. If you want, you can message me and I can see if I can help at all.
