I feel Alone
My ex died over 2 years ago. I tried to dating but I cannot enjoy sex. It's very painful (I have fibriods and PCOS, they are both female issues).
90% of men out there want that type of "Fun" esspecially when dating. When I explain I cannot enjoy it, i get ghosted, catfished, and chewed out.
I'm also demi-sexual, which means I must be a committed relationship and trust the other to have sex in the first place. However it's a tease to both of us if we really do have that connection and yet I cannot enjoy it.
I feel that my health issues are causing me to be lonely.
@Rebekahwriter13 both my ex-wife and one of my ex-gf (+fibrosis) had this condition so i understand and feel you...we talked about it and yes a commited relationship helped...i'm sorry you have to live with this but i wish you find someone who understands your condition and has the dedication and emotional imput to appreciate you and make you feel confortable and happy with who you are...biiig hugs🤗🤗🤗🤗
@Butterflee Thank you. May I ask. . . was their mood swings and health issues one of the reason they are an ex?
@Rebekahwriter13 i predicted you would ask that 🤗🤗🤗. Not at all, my ex-wife found a new love and my ex-gf we grew apart because of my cancers and future insecurity...nothing relating to their xondition which I understood. We all discussed about it and while the relationships worked were very involved and dedicated. I understood their "moods" as you say and we were really close companions. We did made love but on their terms of confort, nothing imposed or fake even if it was rarer than other men would want it was more authentic, even if orgasms were lobger to get to the more the love implication and reward...i have only good momories with them...once i understood it was no longer difficult, just love on a higher level if you know what i mean...🤗hugs again🤗
@Butterflee I'm sorry what kind of cancer?
I'm sorry I asked that, but i feel like I have a human repellent on me. . . I am nice one moment and then a bear the next. . . My female cycle is off and very heavy so there are times I am very cranky over everything and can't out of bed.
I haven't even tried to date in over a year as in 2017 I got rejected over 20 because I could not have sex. Most guys ask , . why put up with Ms. Grouch if they are not going to get any "fun" out it?
@Rebekahwriter13 oh cmon, in her mood swings my ex-wife told me she would like to stick a fork in my eye so i didn't make anything out of it. Those who want just sex can go for professional prostitutes or dolls if that's only what they want. I chose love in life, not simple "sex"...
@Rebekahwriter13 because of their hormonal disorder they both had problems with excessive hair growth (i cannot remember the "accademic clinical" word but smth about pilosis) where they had discreet moustaches or hair around their areolas and on their lower backs or legs or buttocks but i was never bothered by that, on the contrary, found it genuinely feminine in a weird way.
@Butterflee I have hair in my chin and it drives me crazy.
@Rebekahwriter13 don't worry, i am not unique in this world, you will find someone to love you and cherish you and appreciate you with devotion for who you are🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 i would not trade 10 000 models for the times i spent with my exes🤗🤗🤗...i miss them...
@Butterflee I'm not looking for love. I had it once and now my heart is shattered into a million pieces. I rather just have a better place to live, my PCOS and PTSD cured or SSI and a few cats while I work on my books.
@Rebekahwriter13 that sounds cosily peaceful and nice🤗🤗🤗. I hope they find medical cures because hormonal disorders are mean...
@Rebekahwriter13 learn to feel good with whom you are and acceot and respect yourself. You can epilate the hair if you are socially stigmatised but i would leave it as such and don't give a "coin" on whatever other people think. Trust your close circle: those who really know you and love you.🤗
@Butterflee irl I just have half of my family, and a few neighbors, but I am afraid eventually my bitter mood swings are going to chase them away.
@Rebekahwriter13 it is a goid sift to see who really cares for you and who not. The ones that flee, good riddance, you don't need them. The ones who stay and stick with you are those who understand and love you and care for you.
@Butterflee
I also keep getting these scamming guys making romance look cheap and bitter. . . I am not looking for it. I just want to have energy, feel better, get a nicer place with a cat so I can write with the light at night without someone staying can we turn off the light. . . . . . none of my doctors would listen to me
@Rebekahwriter13 all my girfriends struggled with smth and the social stigma it implied, hyperthyroid or multiple sclerosis. I am an empath, I could not help them medically but I loved them and been there for them...
@Butterflee I appreciate you write back.
I can be empathic as well, and it drains me.
@Rebekahwriter13 i know beka, our nemesis, caring for others drains us out...but i would not trade it fir anything in the world, such am i with any living thing...
@Butterflee I just wish I a bit more room and space to my self to decongest.
@Rebekahwriter13 i know and I feel you...you have a right to your own peaceful life...i hope you get there beka🤗