I feel like all im worth is sex
Hi I’m a virgin still in college. I’ve never lost my virginity because I lived in a strict household so I barely left the house. I’ve never gotten into a relationship because u have horrible self esteem and always lived in fear of the evil in the outside world. It be earliest I can remember from my childhood with talkin to boys was that I was being touched without consent. This happened at school and at the neighborhood kids at my stepdad house. I’ve always flinch and becomes frozen when people touch me. They made me feel like trash and that I was only worth my body. Fast forward to now the situation still hasn’t changed. Everytime I try to talk to anybody all they can focus on is having sex and staring at my butt.
I feel alone and trapped everywhere I go people try to take advantage of me and once I don’t do what they want they don’t care about me and try to force things. I don’t know why I can’t be happy without people trying to hurt me even more than I already am
@discreetVillage5495 I'm so sorry! Sounds like you have experienced a lot of trauma. Are you able to see a counselor? There's a fb group called Survivors of Sexual Assault you can join to connect with others and get more support. *hugs*
Thank you and We have a counselor on campus but I don’t feel comfortable telling people about my problems including family and friends, because they act like I’m being over dramatic, lying or bring sum up from their experience to down play my feelings. I want to join counseling but I’m scared and feel like I might find out that I’m worthless.
@discreetVillage5495 It took me a long time to go to counseling when I was in college; I only went because my roommate said she had gone, and I wished afterward I had gone much earlier. The counselor's job is to help you; no problem is too small. Some people go just because of struggling with grades, feeling home sick, etc. They are there to help and support you. Definitely go at your own pace, and you can take that step when you feel ready. :) :)
@Daydreamer47
i think I finally have courage to try out counseling, so I hope I have a good experience as you did.
I feel your pain with regards to feeling like all people want from me is my body. I was taken advantage of from a close male friend when I was at college. My husband helped me overcome those fears and anger that I had before.
@amyinlove
im so sorry about what happened to u in the past and I can almost relate to it. I’ve been almost sexually assaulted plenty of times with guys I thought I could trust. Once they see me in a vulnerable state they to take advantage of me, even going as far as locking me in a room. I’m glad your husband helped you out and hopefully I’ll be able to find somebody like that one day
Girl I've been through this before. I've grown up in a strict religious family. And most of the guys I've been around usually just stare at my boobs or my butt. I know guys love objectifiying women they do it all the time. I've even had boys in school fondle my boobs because they could. I kinda just think this is the typical women troupe most of us go through sometimes. I know during my college days I used to have guys make comments on my body and I kinda just got used to it and just ignored them. I know men can be too aggressive sometimes we just can't let them determine our mental health and how we view our world.
