I have a problem :(
I used to enjoy my body and be happy with my sexuality in 2012, but when my mother discovered I had a sexual toy, things changed...
I can't stop thinking sex is a thing I don't need (my mother used to say "You are not interested in this this, you hear me?"), because I think every thing about pleasure is fake and we don't need it (I don't know why I think it). I can't feel pleasure, I can't have an orgasm like before, now I take so much time, my body hurts, I can't make enough lubrication (in 2012 I could make a lot, I don't understand why I can't now) and I only feel pain instead pleasure. I am getting bored in this topic, I don't really know what to do, I wanna experiment and be happy as before, but how? I have a new sexual toy but I think is not enough, like it doesn't give me the pleasure I am looking for.
Plus, my unique sexual partner didn't help me too much in this, I felt so much pain instead pleasure, and during the vaginal penetration I felt scared because I have tokophobia.
Any advices? I want to be happy with my body, just that :(
@Sunflower71 Your mother destroyed your desire for sex is that what you are saying?
@TransAm85 I am afraid you're right :(
@Sunflower71 Oh dear .. I know our parents have a big impact on our choices in life, but some things we just have to ignore and push to the side. Your sexual desires/choices are your own and for yourself. My mother used to preach to me that men are useless and good for nothing but sex - she had 3 kids and got divorced twice so that's why she has a negative outlook on men. She is 62 now, lives in an assisted living complex and is all alone. My point being, sometimes our parents contradict themselves b/c they are just mad about something they did in their own past.
@TransAm85 I remember she called a gynecologist to do a date with me and talk to me about sex and then she said "Alright, what you did was stu***, okay?", and she said I must not be interested in this when she saw me doing a paper with questions to the gynecologist (I was interested and I wanted to know more, just that :c ). But yeah, you're right, I must ignore her. This happened so much years ago, but is like the consequences are hiting me so hard :(
@Sunflower71 How old are you may I ask? She should be glad that you take the initiative to go see an OBGYN. A lot of men and women today, even if they have insurance or not, don't even bother to take care of themselves and they are predominantly sexually active. Yet, the news and media claim it is still unknown why so many people are contracting HPV, HIV/AIDS, STD's .. duh! Values in this generation were thrown out the window about 10 years ago. Well, I hope you figure things out and realize that the sex has nothing to do w/your mother's opinion. It is between you and your partner. If you like the kinky stuff w/toys, hey, that's you. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
@TransAm85 I am 20, the problem between me and mom happened when I was 17.
@TransAm85 I see u have good knowledge of all can we have a private chat may be u might help me out
@jeanliason I am not a listener .. I thought members cannot do chats w/other members? I mean, w/e your question is, I could try my best to answer it.
@TransAm85 I have my gf with too much sexual desires I am affraid how to satisfy her fantasies
@jeanliason Some men are intimidated by sexually curious women, but at the same time, you should embrace it! She trusts you and wants you to fulfill all her desires. Do not be ashamed. Both are learning.
@TransAm85 yeah so what different should I do plzz suggest
@jeanliason Majority of women are sensual and emotional and then some are aggressive and .. 50 shades of gray? If she wants to explore the 50 shades of gray w/you .. just let her know you are optimistic and open minded, if you are. My husband is routine so, I will never experience that stuff anymore, which is alright.
Have you had a discussion with your mum about how you feel?
