I'm a 25 year old man with zero experience with girls
And it's not by choice.
Partly because having been dealing with depression for over ten years, reducing my self esteem and confidence to nothing, and me seemingly unable to connect with anyone on a deeper level. The depression was caused by the loneliness i feel for not feeling connected to anyone, not friends or family. And this is just reinforced by everyone around me getting into relationships and settling down while i've never even kissed a girl. It is making me insecure and feel like i'm just unwanted and unlovable.
I think of myself as a very sexual person. I don't see it as just a way to reach orgasm. I see it as something more, like an exchange of sensations, feelings and emotions between partners. And i want to learn and explore it. But i can't. The loneliness from never having a connection with anyone and the sexual frustration is making it hard to even think about something else. It just feels hopeless, like love and sex was never meant for me. I can't even relate to people my age anymore.
It feels like every problem is reinforcing another. To deal with the depression, i need to deal with the loneliness, and to deal with that i need to find a partner, and to find a partner i need to deal with the depression, and so on... I dont know what to do. I've tried different therapies , including CBT, and tried different medications for the depression, with the current one giving me some sexual side effects (except loss of sexdrive) which is just making me more frustrated. Nothing of this has worked. Do anyone have any input on how to get through this?
@ThomasHs First I want to thank you for sharing here. Your openness and honesty is very inspiring. It sounds like you are feeling so many conflicting emotions right now; it can feel confusing to know where to begin. One thing that I was thinking as I read through your post is how much it sounds like you are ready for change. That alone is so powerful. And your strength is clear in that you are reaching out to others. There are so many different paths to finding a significant relationship that there is no one right way. I am not skilled in this area so I can't offer suggestions but you show an insight into your situation that is a strong indicator that when an opportunity to change this loneliness and depression comes along you will take it.
@mbj helper Thanks! I just never get any opportunities. I've been trying to meet someone online, but it's a hard market there. I never get far enough to be able to open up. I feel all my strong points are things you can't just share during the first encounter.
@ThomasHs
I'm a firm believer that we all go through life at our own pace. It can be easy to compare ourselves to those around us, to see something that they have and wish that we had more of that in our lives. What we often don't realize is that they might be looking at us and valuing something about our personality or way of life.
As it has already been mentioned, it sounds like you are ready to start taking steps towards change. It really is one step infront of the other. Sometimes pieces do fall into place, sometimes they need a little extra attention and work.
If ever you'd like to talk, to work on your self-confidence or to share your ups and downs with someone, feel free to message me.
Best of luck, and take care :)
Aristotle states Humans are social animal. If we remove friends, neighbors, family,school and college etc the loneliness will hunt us down. Fundamental teaching of Mother Nature can be described in one word "Respect "
if you speak to individual with respect I can assure you that the reaction will be respect. My situation is worse than yours cause I can help others in establishing meaningful relationships but I can't do it on my ownself, not sure why, perhaps I am involved myself and unable to view the situation as I view for others