Lust pushed my crush away
im a teenage girl and ive had a crush on my childhood friend for 4 years. Recently i talked to him on the one and i told him my feelings. He asked if i was sexually attracted to him and i said yes. He said he was also sexually attracted. We continued to call eachother in our free time and would end up talking about sexual things most of the time. I dont have a phone so Im not able to text him, so the only way we can talk is by email or calling. The problem with that is he became more busy and would never reply or call.
I continued to email him and because i have such a strong desire to be with him i told him things I wouldnt normally say to him in person. He grew distant and he had my best friend tell me to back of instead of saying it to me himself. I took her phone and read what he told her and he said that he didnt love me. Then a week later his ex told me that he was annoyed with me and had blocked me. This happened after school and i cried when she told me this. I went up to him and tried ti talk but no would would come out. All i did was stand infront of him shaking and crying. His ex and my friend pulled me away and calmed me down.
That night me and my friend fought, her saying i only think about myself, dont listen, and dont know what love is. That happened less than a week ago. Since then ive lost sleep and have talked to no one. She was my only friend and he was my world. I feel lost, alone and confused. I dont understand how he is sexually attracted to me but doesnt love me or see me as anything more than a friend. Please help
@KatrinaWolf17
To be fair ... most teens don't know what love is. A crush? Sure. Love? meeh.... some do but overal is rare they do.
What you're going through is a normal phase in teen years. Maybe you're more sexual of a person. And if you are, there's nothing wrong with it.
The only thing wrong here , is that 1) He wasn't honest with you. When we are unconfortable we don't randomly block people, we politly tell them to stop. And THEN if they don't stop we block. He was childish, and in the future he has to learn to explain to people his feelings. Running away isn't the answer; 2) you also didn't consider his feelings. We all have different libidos, aka different sexual needs. Some people are more sexual than others and that is 100% ok. But You need to meet someone with the same needs as you, otherwise if you push it on others it will hurt them alot, it can even give them anxiety.
So I wouldn't say this is just your fault. But you need to calm down and realise we're all different. In the future maybe meet someone who is more sexual, just like you.
It will be hard, specially if you really like someone (like this case). But is a matter of you seeing the pros and cons of the situation.
I hope I helped.
@KatrinaWolf17
Oh I also forgot to comment on the last part (my bad).
I'll be very honest with you. I was a teen so this isnt any news.
You can forget about love in your teens.
Sexual needs obviously is normal, hormones are jumping everywhere (honestly the only part I don't miss haha)
But love? Oh love is VERY rare. because love means sacrifice, it means respect, it means the other person totally knows you have a shit ton of flaws but they're like "meh I'll put up with it".
And most teens aren't mentally ready to love. So is unfair for you to ask him to love you. The guy isn't mature enough yet. The closest thing would be a big crush.
So just get that during these years is always hard to really find love. Instead focous on yourself. On your work/school, on your self esteem, having fun with friends. Also go ahead and explore romance, but don't have super high unrealistic expectations from guys.
I mean... even adults can be sexually attracted to each other but not feeling a thing for the person person. Is just life.
