My girlfriend doesn’t seem to want to have sex with me
Hello all, I am struggling with the fact that my girlfriend’s libido is way lower than mine. I am 32 and she is 29. We have been together for about a year and a half. I love her and care about her a lot but I feel very sexually deprived and unfulfilled in our relationship. I don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. I look at some porn sometimes but she doesn’t like it when I look at porn. I’m feeling pretty confused and unsure how to deal with this situation. I also have a therapist but I have found it hard to talk about this in therapy, I think I just have a lot of shame around the topic of sex. My girlfriend also doesn’t like to do some of the things I want her to do. I would never pressure her or want her to do something she is uncomfortable with, and yet I am feeling unfulfilled and stressed out in our relationship and unsure what to do. Any advice?
@eumesmo I feel like sometimes women not being in the mood may actually be about her not feeling heard or appreciated in some way, so I would ask if she feels that way. Personally, I am not bothered by porn, but she may be upset because she really wants you to show more that you think she's pretty and are really attracted to her. Also, maybe if you learn more about female anatomy and how to give her an orgasm (you need to stimulate her from the outside and not just penetration) she will feel more engaged/fulfilled and more open to trying new things. Also, as a woman, I feel like showing affection physically like playing with our hair, holding hands, etc helps me to feel like somebody really values and wants to connect with me and isn't just in it for my body, which also may be a concern on her end.
Thank you! This is valuable feedback. I just saw this because I wasn’t notified of your response. Thank you for sharing all of this.
May I ask how you would interpret a woman who despises all those things. I am wildly attracted to my wife I want Noone but her and I tell her that all the time. She hates to be touched she has no sex drive (with me) she won't do or try anything outside of plain vanilla sex. I can't cuddle with her I can't touch and make her feel loved because she hates when I do. I'm a hopeless romantic I want to hold her on the couch and watch TV I want to fall asleep wrapped up in her but the only time she wants to be touched is the 2-3 times a month we are actually intimate. Bur she frequently watches girl on girl scissor porn and takes care of herself even though ready for her anytime she feels a need but she doesn't to want me
