Relaxing causing to much sexual desire.
A lot of the time when I try to relax or come down to earth.. when I'm connecting with God or when I'm relaxed listening to the qur'an, I start to desire sex. I can't just stay in the state of sexual desire because I feel I will just be hyper sexualised all of the time; so I find myself always in some state of elation, restlessness or depression to be away from the desire. I am almost unable to remain down to earth or stable because of this and it is greatly effecting many aspects of my life. Masturbation or sex outside of marriage are not solutions and it can become very fustrating at times. I know it will pass but I need to be able to be more balanced and down to earth more often, as it is also causing problems through out any marriage proposal. Getting married would seem like a solution.. but I am unable to stay down to earth throughout the proposal stage which makes the proposal itself extreamly difficult. It in itself is blocking the solution. Any insight, understanding or advice would be greatly appreciated.
@Sasher very nice to hear of another person with similar issues, I can't seem to find other men who share this type of frustration, and then I stumble across your post, and from a woman. Very interesting thanks for sharing
@shyTangerine840 Hiya. Your welcome! Yh I know it's usually more people going through the same issues without a solution and people don't talk about these things.. So yh, I was hoping even if I don't find a solution yet, that at least others know they are not alone.
On weekends, when I rest, I often think about sex, when finance allows, I use this site [edited by Anomalia to remove advertising link]
Hi. I too am often crushed with the weight of sexual desire. Here is what I have tried that seems to help me:
First, I've had to accept that I want sex (and whatever it is specifically that seems attractive for me to do).
Second, I talk to a safe person that I've previously identified, who knows my goals and supports me. I tell what I want to do (sometimes very specifically, others more generalized depending on what I'm trying to change). I pretty much say that I am surrendering my desire for sex or something sexual.
Third, I ask God to help me and recognize my desire to do His will instead of my own.
Fourth, I repeat as necessary (although usually with someone new, but previously identified as a safe and supportive person).
Fifth, I try to listen and follow what I believe God would have me do and take the next right step.
@bowserforpresident hii. That's really nice. I kinda came to the realisation that I was associating love with sex and that the two can be autonomous of each other.
@bowserforpresident Hiya, Salam. "I pretty much say that I am surrendering my desire for sex or something sexual." I think this might be key. Instead of worrying about the experience or worrying it's repression.. I can just acknowledge the feeling and say I am choosing to sacrifice it for the sake of god. I think I can find strength in that. Thank you! I pray for strength for you in your healing.
I will probably come off as THE saltiest non believer ever, but...
You are human, you have desires, it is normal and you should masturbate, to not masturbate only makes you more frustraited about it, humans are only animals and theres nothing wrong to please oneself.
So out of some sort of God perspective, God didn't give you sexual desires for you to surpress them, you're only doing yourself harm thinking of yourself as bad for it when it really isn't bad or evil.
So I have a problem and the problem is pretty much me. Dont know what to do anymore, is there someone who feels the same. Like your nothing and if so how can you be something, what superpowers do have. How can you be happy again and how do you live like this?
@Maxifromsweden
be yourself is all that you can do
Some kind of happiness can come from deep acceptance of yourself but also working at a goal and seeing yourself progress