Sexual frustration
I’m feeling very sexually frustrated in my relationship with my girlfriend. I want to talk to her about sex but I think the topic stresses her out. We have not had sex in a long time and I think she doesn’t like talking about sex. I want to talk to her about so many things related to sex but I am having a hard time just starting the conversation or finding the right time and place for it. I feel really sexually frustrated and I think she knows, but I think she might be scared that if I talk to her about it it might lead to us breaking up.
I feel completely incompetent when it comes to discussing sex in general and I feel stumped on how to broach this topic with her. I just want to talk to her about sex but I feel so stuck and frustrated 😕
I just wanted to share that but comments are more than welcome 🙏🏼
@eumesmo
Hi there<3
I Hear that you are having some difficult feelings towards sexual frustration, Im sorry that you are going through this situation with your loved one. I also understand that if you feel you speak to your significant other about this topic, it might lead to a break up or separation. May i ask why you feel if you speak to her it might lead to that?
Best wishes<3
Hello —
I don’t think we would break up, like I don’t want to break up with her and she doesn’t want it either. I think mostly I am worried that she would be scared of the conversation because she might think that I want to break up with her or that I am threatening to break up with her if she doesn’t make certain changes or something like that. I don’t want her to think that way or see things like that, I don’t want her to feel pressured or anything like that. Mostly I just want to talk to her and I want to be able to talk to her about sex in a relaxed way.
I think I am mostly frustrated because I think even the mention of sex bothers her sometimes. Like she is annoyed by any kind of sexual joke or comment and she doesn’t want to engage with me when I do that. I try to be cautious and I guess I am mostly frustrated because I just want to *talk* to her about sex but I don’t know what to do. I think she would panic or feel scared and overwhelmed because she would think that I want to break up with her…
But I love her so much and mostly I just want to talk to her 🤷🏻♂️
@eumesmo It sounds like you know her enough that you know what will trigger her. Start with “I’m not planning on breaking up with you, I just want to have an open conversation about sex. Is that ok with you?” See how she response and go from there. If she says ok then great. If it helps, makes sure you have notes to keep you in topic in case the convo get heated or overwhelming. If she says she doesn’t want to talk then ask her when would be a good time to discuss the topic.