Toy Obsessed
Hello. Been trying to find a way to get some of my issues out. Hope this is the right place.
My issue is that I am obsessed with my wife wearing sex toys. Mainly butt plugs. I think they look so damn sexy. But my wife does not enjoy wearing them very often, so I end up getting annoyed and sometimes even upset. Maybe it's me just being selfish about my obsession. But what surprises me the most is that it actually gets me upset at times when she doesn't wear it.
How can I get rid ofthis obsession? Or how can I better deal with her not wearing the toy as often? I end up looking at anal sex porn or porn with women wearing butt plugs, because it seems like I am not getting to see this as often in my personal life. My wife knows I look at porn, but she doesn't know the real reason behind it.
I hope people take this post seriously. This is something that I've been dealing with for a long time, and have never felt like I could reach out to anyone about this.
@Blue7383 Those things are painful. I suppose everyone has a fantasy. There is nothing else that you have a fancy for that your wife could do to accomodate that fantasy?
@TransAm85 Thank you so much for responding to my post.
My wife does wear the butt plug when we have sex. But I honestly would like her to wear it while lounging around the house (she never does) or out in public (she does on spec. occasions, like when we go to see shows, etc.) I love when she wears it out in public, it's like our little secret. I would rather she wear it at those times, then when we are having sex. I guess she wears it during sex because she can take it out in the shower when we are done. As opposed to the other times, when she would have to wear it for a longer time.
Also, I know she does it just for me, which I appreciate and I love her for it, but I wish she would enjoy it more too. Enjoy it for herself, you know.
I also bought her an ohmibod that vibrates with noise. She doesn't wear it often either. And it just goes over the clit, it does not go inserted in her vag. She'll wear it to the movies, sometimes.
Maybe she's lost some of her sexual drive?
I really don't have other fantasies. At least none that she might entertain. But as far as casual everyday type fantasies, her wearing the butt plug is about it.
Our sex life is pretty normal (vanilla). We tried dom/sub for several weeks, but neither of us were any good at it. :-/
@Blue7383 Honestly, your wife sounds pretty awesome for doing those couple things. I used to be an escort for a short period of time and I've seen/heard it all and done a lot of odd things/fantasies and 95% of the men were seeing me b/c their wives/girlfriends wouldn't even try the stuff or the sex was rare, say 1x a month or less. I think both of you can work on this together to even it out to tell you the truth. For example, I like spontaneous sex. It makes me feel like I'm being bad or gonna get caught. Well my husband is kinda routine, so I got a little frustrated. We had to work on that, which made him happier actually. Try that. Spontaneous sex. We did it in the Dr's office once. Or one Christmas, in my sister in laws bathroom. But if you like toys, I still think she is a good wife for tolerating it just for u. What about costumes? Roll playing?
@TransAm85 Hello again. I certainly didn't mean to make it sound as if my wife isn't amazing. She certainly is. This is why, in my original post, I asked "How can I get rid of this obsession? Or how can I better deal with her not wearing the toy as often?"
This is something that I am struggling with. I need some kind is 12-step plan or something that I can follow, to will help me get over this obsession.
We used to fool around in clothing store dressing rooms, but now she's always afraid that we'll get caught, so we don't do that anymore.
Role playing isn't for us, just like the dom/sub. We're not very good at it.
Thanks for taking your time to reach out to me.
@TransAm85 Sorry about the type size of my previous post. I've been having issues with this app.
Just be careful with toxic sextoys, jelly and pourous toys are bad for you, shame since the jelly ones tend to be rather neat looking.
If she finds it painful theres lube with painkilling things in it, not sure what ( seems gay men use it a lot but what do I know ).
@Ladypearl Hi there, sorry I hadn't replied to your comment earlier, but I had decided to stayed away from all social media for a month.
My wife has 3 silicone butt plugs in her collection, but she doesn't use them very often. This weekend when we went to an adult store and she told me that she was looking for something very specific. Turns out that she has decided to find glass or metal replacements for the silicone ones, but she is still keeping the silicone ones just in case she decides to wear one out in public for an extended period of time.
Thanks for reaching out!