my bf and i
a while ago my bf came into our house, he come1-2 times a week, since we are both freelancers, actually we are in our 10years relationship, but there are countless times we do nasty things with each other, but our first time we did it in a hotel and honestly i really felt nervous, after that, my bf is planning that we do it again and i admit that we enjoyed it although we are not yet married, he is encouraging me to do what we did last month, but i declined even though i want it badly, because im very nervous and scared at the same time, what if there are hidden cameras in the hotel, what if there are big consequences after that, or what if my parents would found out, honestly i grew up in a conservative and strict family, and im finding it hard to do s*x outside marriage, but my mind is telling me that we should do it since we love each other, i dont know what to do, should i gave myself permission to break the rules once in a while or continue to be the good girl in front of everyone? please help me. id been fantasizing for a long time.
@silentbuster26
Honestly, if you're gonna do it, might as well just do it and enjoy it. I understand your struggle. I also grew up as a Christian and I believed it was wrong. I even gave up a relationship because of it. But I think... just make a decision and stick to it. If you decide you want to wait until marriage, that's fine. Do that. If not, then just enjoy it. Don't sit on the fence. Just pick one and stick to it.
Hi there,
i’ve been in the spot as you, worried and scared of having sex because of people, beliefs and the environment around me. But now I’ve learned to get passed it and make my own choices and yes take my own consequences as well, if you and your partner are ready for it and willing to do things or to do it again then go for it. It’s your own choice your both in control no one else can push you or tell you what you can or can’t do. But although i should of said this before if you feel that there are camera around when you do things it may not be best to do it. Things between your partner are special and are memorable it makes things more fun and exciting that way.
@silentbuster26 If you want to be intimate with your bf, that is absolute fine! Some people do choose to wait until marriage, but that's a personal choice, not a rule. You aren't doing anything wrong; it's a natural way to connect with someone you like. Maybe take things slow and try to communicate and check-in about what you want to try with your bf. It's normal that you are struggling with a lot of different feeling and thoughts due to your upbringing and you may want to talk to a counselor.
thank you for all your wonderful comments, actually we made out last Sunday and I can say its the best experience I ever had though we are not yet married. actually my partner and i enjoyed a lot because it is our first time to do it after 10years. but somehow we feel guilty and scared of the people around us would think of us. and also again my partner and I is planning to do that again maybe next month. im still having second thoughts if we should continue it or not because im also afraid to get pregnant. we talked about this and he said I am the one he plans to marry but not now, he said to me that if Im willing to wait after 3yrs and I sid yes. I understand him. but i dont know if we would continue what we're doing because honestly I cant control my exual desires. but Im willing to take the hardship if thats what my partner want.
@silentbuster26 Definitely talk to a doctor about birth control and protection! You may not have gotten good info from a conservative background. Stay safe and good luck! :)