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Advice for a long-distance online relationship

User Profile: sensitiveHuman1024
sensitiveHuman1024 February 10th, 2020

I have been knowing a US guy online in a dating app for two months, he is the same age as mine. (Btw I am from Hong Kong) We started texting each day, with lengthy paragraphs (No kidding! Our daily exchanges could reach a thousand of words). Our messages are like a mini thesis and topics include the meaning and wisdom of life, psychology, history and politics. From our words, we share similar thoughts regarding relationship, love and parenting styles. I could see he is spending two hours in crafting his words, and so am I, even in sacrifice of a long sleep at night. (It's strange because I wouldn't do this to anyone) He admitted he is thoroughly enjoying our conversation, and even my words brought him butterflies. Similarly, I find those intellectual exchanges insightful and couldn't ask for more! During our video call on Saturday, he said he has been thinking a lot about me, and wanted to make this bond serious and official. I even burst into tears of joy at that time and here we are, in a relationship now.

Right now, I am feeling so mixed. It just seems so unreal, living like a dream. I dare not to tell anyone about this, especially my family that I have a boyfriend and we haven't met each other yet. They would probably think I am too naive, or just to pour cold water on me. Yet when I listen to my intuition, his kind words and presence in the video call offer me such warmth and comfort that touched the deep chords of my heart. I have been on dates before, but haven't known someone who is as special as him. Despite the distance apart, surprisingly, I feel intellectually and emotionally close to him more than anyone else. I am delighted there is someone who is willing to invest so much time and effort for me. But at the same time I wonder where this would lead. When and how will we ever meet each other in person? He told me he just finished his graduate school and started working for a few months, so he won't be able to come to Hong Kong to see me within a short period of time. There is so much uncertainty ahead that needs both of us to stay strong to each other, and I want to make it work. May I hear some valuable advice on this long-distance online relationship?

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User Profile: healingWhisper
healingWhisper May 17th, 2020

@sensitiveHuman1024 thank you for sharing this here. Long-distance relationships can be really hard, so I think communication is key here and also visits in person as often as possible. Hope you are doing better now :)