Advice needed

Hi everyone, I'm pretty new here and I do suffer from depression, so I'm just going to get it out there.

I've been with my husband for 16years and we have a 13yr old son who has severe ADHD. My husband and son fight constantly as they have very similar personalities. My husband is also under assessment for autism and ADHD.

The trouble is our relationship is under a lot of pressure. They verbally fight most mornings and that usually ends with things being said to me in not a nice way.

I feel like I'm failing as a person. I'm not sure if we're just still together because of our son, or because it's just that I'm scared of change. I do love him, but I feel like we're just cohabiting. There's no physical togetherness anymore, he doesn't initiate any intimacy, so I don't bother either.

He has control of the finances as this is what he does for his job. I'm the one that seems to be everyone's secretary. I work full time hours and then come home to cook, clean, do the washing etc. My husband dies take our son to his sailing training and competitions, but because of this there's no time for us. Sailing is always more important.

I'm getting to the point where I don't have the energy anymore. I have tried to talk to him about this but he is just so emotionless, like he can't feel anything.

I just don't know what to do anymore, but I know I'm not happy. I worry about not being able to afford to stay in my home which I love if we separate. I just want to feel loved and be shown that.